Welcome in the world of small pleasures, experiments and peace

So hello bed
I don't ever seem to be able to get out of you lately.... not even for class.... the gym maybe... but not my education hahahahaha
I AM LAZY!

but anyways its raining and its beautiful
don't want to get out of bed but I have a shit load to do likeeeee

1. Clean my room
2. Washing
3. Start Case Study thats due monday
4. Start Art and Design thats due in two weeks
5. I have work tonight
6. get ready to go home for the w.e
7. Read blogs
8. GYM!

yeah not toooo much :s

Actually I am off now

ciao bellas

ughhhh my life is so boring

When life hands you lemons, bust out the tequilla and salt!

.... second night in a row

Not as drunk as I was last night

But these are the nights I live for!!!!

Loosing your friend in town... Running around trying to get into bars for free when there is a cover charge, dancing on tables... and the best of all TEQUILA SHOTS!

I am going to a rugby game tonight!!! Tonga vs France!! Should be FANTASTIC!

I am excited!

I am HUNGOVER!

and

I am going rollerblading in an hour or so!

Todays Menu:

BLT bagel

Fruit Salad

Gym today? No.... Tomorrow yes!!!

Drinking tonight? Still haven't decided that far ahead

xox ciao bellas xox

Just incase your wondering.... IM DRUNK! lol and btw I FUCKING BET my flatmate @ beer pong

Oh god I got so drunk last night... ugh!!!

And people (boys) in town did not help!!!!!

THEY KEPT BUYING ME DRINKS! So I was already drunk AND THEN  I just got more drunk!!!!! And for some reason I told my flatmate to wake me up at 8am WTF?!!! Oh god it was a messy night!!!

I am still fricken druuuuuunk as a fucking skunk.... this is not OK!!! ok OKAY! ITS NOT OK!

RAAAAWR

I think I am going to vomit

ahhhh I hate alcohol!

LOL LIES!

I love alcohol just hate the morning after alcohol...... UGH! 

This is just not ok!
there should be some rule about not drinking........
hahahahhhaahahahahahahaha
I am drinking tonight but hells to the NO! am I drinking as much as I did
I don't even know what I did last night
its never goooooood!!!!

But anywho!!!
Signed up at the gym yesterday and I think I may just go in an hour.... I mean I am up why the f*** not?!

sofia: Yeah it really is like kinda... zen?! is that the right word?!

Ciao You Sexy LADIES!

Today I don't feel like doing anything, I just wanna lay in my bed

I keep skipping classes.

WHY!?!!!

UGH! Such a bad habit, I have missed like 7 classes in the past two weeks... I am so behind!!!! But I really don't  like these two classes. But I am so behind!!!!! I have an assessment on on of the assignments due in 3 weeks next week. Then I have Business essay due on the 10th October, then on the 19th October I have Garment due, and a test. Then my last assignment is due in the next day!!!! I just cannot be bothered doing anything. The only thing I have started is my garment, and that's because we work on it in class. THANK GOD I have almost finished it!!! I am so LAZY!

I am so very very lazy!!!

Ok so I think tomorrow I may start my business paper that is due, and on Saturday get majority of my assignment done. Hopefully I can do it, but somehow doubt it. I am going to be pulling so many all nighters.

SO MANY AHHHHHH!

aaaaaanyyywhooooo....

Todays Menu:

Breakfast: Tea

Lunch: Tea

Dinner: Apple and Tea

HAPPY!

I love eating so little. That actually sounds so bad!!! but when I actually accomplish eating so little through out the entire day it makes me happy... its kinda sick and twisted but I want to be 140 by Thursday next week, and I have to go out for tea with my friend tomorrow night, thank god there is a salad option!!! A salad and two margaritas yummmerz

Right I'd better go be productive seeing as I am missing class.

Going to watch Terra Nova, then get dressed, then go join the gym!!!!!!!!!!

YES I KNOW!

I am joining the gym!!! Its a really fancy one but it will be sooooooo worth it

I will go like everyday!!!! Seriously!!!

Promise!!!

Ciao Bellas xox

"Well," said Pooh, "what I like best," and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn't know what it was called.

Oh the sun is shining and the sky is blue and the world is so very full of colour!!! Today is a good day. My room is half clean and I have started my assignments. Today really couldn't get any better... well it could... you know what I mean... Empty...

Menu:

1 Tall Starbucks Raspberry and Chocolate Frappachino w/ skinny milk no cream - 250

1 Tuna 6" sub - 600

Total: 850

SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER

SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER

SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER

SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER

SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER

SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER

!!!!!!THIN!!!!!!

xox ciao bellas xox

Be happy while you're living, for you're a long time dead

So I am finally in a good place. Not with my weight. Not with my image. But in a good safe place. I am stable. I am in a new flat with new people and altogether it has taken a whole lot of weight off my shoulders.

And speaking of weight... when I was at home not the weekend just been but the weekend before. I weighed myself for the first time in WEEKS! I hadn't weighed myself since the... 16th July!!! And I weighed 162lbs (73.6kgs) and I almost died when I stepped up onto the scales... and I lied about my weight well not lied just didn't tell you the truth because I was embarrassed. I was embarrassed because I was fat. I was embarrassed because I had HUGE ARMS, a belly, muffins tops, and huge thighs which weighed me down. I didn't weigh 148 close to my birthday I was 155.... like I said embarrassed. But when I stepped on the scales a week and a half ago I weighed 145lbs (65.9ks!!!)!!! meaning over 2 months I had lost almost 17lbs!!! a good 8KGS!!!! Thats really good for me seeing as for atleast a month of that was drinking a binging non stop because I was unhappy!!!! Hopefully next thursday when I get to weigh myself I will be even skinner! Fingers Crossed darlings

Also Catching up sloooooowly on blogs... Its really hard to do so when you have an assignment due next week, and the week after and then the week after that!!!!!! GAH UNI really does sucks!

Ciao Bellas xoxo

out with the old and in with the new... or something like that

Hey loves, sorry I have been MIA, AWOL whatever.... but between work, uni and moving flats I have been FLAT OUT! So over the past few weeks I have binged like a mo fo... but now I have been fasting since Tuesday.... no idea how I have managed to last 5 days with nothing more than tea, 4 biscuits, a handful of corn chips, and some alcohol. I don't know how... but I have managed. I also moved out on Friday... and still am moving... I just got so fed up with H and Mikachu I had to get the hell out of that flat... even though I only moved next door its still ok. Its still not with the over dramatic me me me girls who bitch about me and make my life miserable. I love my new room its bigger and my new flat has awesome couches and is really laid back! I am sooooo much happier!
Anyways I have an essay due on Wednesday Night so I probably wont get time to read any blogs until Friday Night... but thats ok because I am going to be staying up all Friday night catching up on the blogs!!! YUS!
I feel like I have missed out on a whole lot of internet readings. Need. To. Catch. UP!!
So today I have work!!! And then I am cleaning and sorting my new room, which is actually kind of exciting. I love organising new rooms. And I meet all my flat mates tonight which will be good. And I have a whole bunch of readings to do. and that essay to write!
And I have to go now... have to finish cleaning my old room.
ugh so much to do so little time!!!
ciao bellas xx

I just needed a fix

Ok I admit that I have a problem.... this problem has 0% to do with my icky flat dramas which are very immature
This problems is my addiction
my HUGE addiction to shopping
I try sooooo hard not to shop
but then
once I have a small taste of shopping
even online food shopping
I break down
Like
just before
FML
$60 on clothes..... a pair of shoes and a dress for summer.... and its not even summer yet!!!
But I think I deserve it
I have been under a lot of stress
.....
After the holidays I may splurge some more
actually I will
But I think I will wait until after my holiday back home
like a reward
:S

Thanks to Twigs can fly and Mich for the support... well comments. I am alone here but your comments make me remember that alas I am not. There are people who understand what I am going through and that are probably going through the same dramas. Thanks you guys you are absolutely lovely!!!

Aaaand at the moment any thoughts of trying to break ana's bounds have failed if you haven't sort of guessed already.  I am fasting at the moment with the lovely BellaAna.... four days. Wednesday until Saturday. You can join if you want entirely up to you. Well I am off to sleep now to end the day completely
xxx

As I sit in my room... alone

I have never felt so lonely
Its really just me and my head
maybe that is why I am so fucked up
I never have had anyone close
apart from my mum
but I can't let her see me weak and broken
I can't turn to her
I can't let her know I am struggling
I can't turn to my best friend
I really just need someone who knows no one I know
so I can pour my heart out to them
to get it off my shoulders
It really is a dead weight.

I can't stand living with my flatmates. Everything has double standards.
They can have the horrible music they listen to loud. But I am not aloud to turn my music up to the same volume.
They can half ass their cleaning. I cannot.
They can have long showers. They get prissy when I do, once a week when I wash and treat my hair.
There is more but I can't be bothered writing all the things I do wrong
I need to get out of here

I go to work to escape. I hide in my room. I keep to myself.
I am suffocating here

broken

did I tell you my scales are broken?
Well iff I didn't I am telling you now
I am not going to be able to weigh myself until the middle september when I go home for the w.e!!!!
I am hoping to be 145 or less hopefully in the 130's that would be amazing
I am going to buy some new scales after I get back from home.
But not being able to weigh myself just makes me anxious
I really need some form of scales.
Yeah I could measure but its not a number to see decrease daily it moves slowly a little too slow

Yesterday I had:
2 V energy 350ml drinks 326cals
1 cookie dough truffle 78cals
1 cup of tomato soup 31cals
Handful Croutons 130cals

Total: 565

Today I am going out for Chinese with my friend for lunch
Thats all I will be eating
It will be horribly high in calories

I just want to be thin