The past two days I have managed to pump out 11.5 km on the treadmill
that actually makes me feel sooooo good!!!!!!
what doesn't make me feel good, is when I get attached to boys and I know I shouldn't
like with C, I've been waiting for him to talk to me all day, but the thing is I may or may not know that he may or may not have another girl...
Is it just me or do you also hate it when people you hang out with, hang out with others like "duuuuude they are my friend, sorry you can't be friends with them" maybe I'm just possessive or jealous or something
But like I also don't being yanked around, and people just not saying straight up, what exactly is up!
Ahhhhhhhhhh!!! I am so frustrated! I hate C for making me like this... but I just want to jump his bones still.
My eating disorder definitely does not help any of this though... I get stuck in my head like "Oooooh, a boy likes me, I must be pretty or something." then "I'm not too sure if he really likes me, maybe if I loose a little it will be okay" then in this case C has another girl "Oh he said he is over her, he is going to move on, with me, yay I feel okay again, life is awesome!" then he doesn't text me (I know he is with her duhhhhhh) "greeeat I'm pied, time to go to the gym until I want to vomit/time to eat as much as I want and purge it all" then he texts me or calls and I fucking go through it all these emotions all over again. I hate it I hate my body. Time for me to do 1000 squats now bye!
Day 22:
Weight:
Intake:
Breakfast: Grapefruit 97
Lunch: 0
Dinner: 0
Total: 97/830
Exercise:
Squats: 90/90
Walk: 60/60 minutes
It's time for me to go and stew about how I hate my body and why boys don't like me because I'm bat shit cray ;) haha! Yes time to do some more squats now!
ciao bellas xoxox
