:) = ? = LIES

Stupid scales..... stupid food..... stupid me..... stupid work
I though I was safe when I woke up this morning and weighed 140.7 hahahahahahahaha
I Thought I was safe when I ate the 2weekbix and a banana for breakfast
I Thought I was safe when I ate the chocolate biscut and tuna with crakers for my first break
I Thought I was safe when I ate the 3 chicken nibbles and dried apple pieces for my second break
I was safe when I had nothing for my third break
Then my boyfriend decided to pick me up from work
IDIOT!!!! FAT BITCH! why did you eat that f***ing shit.... YOU RUINED IT!!!!
I still thought I was safe when I ate the mash potato for dinner
FAT LOSER!
Then when I thought I was safe I weighed myself.... 148lbs!!!!! normally if I hardly ate I would have been 145 or even better 144 or the best 143... but 148..... Well Ana had a nut
)(*^@%$^%&@&(*^)()*(!#@)532613(@_&#&$*&(@#_
wow so many bad words... so many mean things.... and while S was there.... I couldn't stop it
and when I sat next to him I could see the fat rolling into rolls around my jeans spilling over the top of them
Ana just sat there and laughed well you didn't listen to me did you if you stopped at the tuna you wouldn't be this fat piece of lard!!!I am useless....

But at least S "loves me so so so much"

*sigh*

Last night was GREAT! My friends 18th waaaaas AWESOME!!!!
I didn't end up making my costume so I found stuff I already had sooooo
here is me in mys costume

eeewwwwww look @ my thighs!
but however my arms have slimmed and so has my waist
someone told me I was starting to waist away....
I was like um k bye






xx
ciao bellas...
I'm off to crawl into a ball and murder my thighs
xox

costume

OK So i have my friends 18th/Halloween party today
fdsdfsdjkhwsnclasfyiaeuksmcasf
I don't have my costume ready...
I need to make it
ahhhhhhhhh!!!!
I have exactly 7hours to make it.
and on top of that have to clean my room
oh and homework
Ffhkiadjshflkjriw;laeutskdfkaejfkadsvfnkadhfjkashflk
ARGH!!!!
SO MUCH TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
btw I weigh 142.2 :( stupid dinner last night.
AND last night I only ran for 10minutes
fsadfhkwrieyfnav
GAH! I fail at life

Dissapointed

Have you ever looked forward to something really good? and then it just lets you down???
I have
It was today...
I was sooooo looking forward to todays Rice Ball... which are fantastic!!!!
I felt nothing when I at it.
I actually only ate 1/3.
The chicken and some rice.... 120cals probs
I don't while I was eating I was thinking of the amazing progress I was making
and how this wasn't even helping.
It tasted amazing but I just did not want it
what is wrong with me?!!!
haha
nothing I just questioned my sanity at that point... normally I devour it in minutes.
but then I just sat there and picked at it, and drank my hot white chocolate (60)
*:)*
It is a good sign becuase it means that I am loosing weight.
:)
I weighed in this morning at 141.0
:D:D:D
OMG!!!!! one more lb and then hello goal weight!!!!!
comments:
Almost.Skinny: My hand is fine now... still knida stings though... but no blistering.... Tea is definitley the best.... I love white tea, and green tea the most.
RunsAlone: OMG yesssssss they doooo!!! I buy mine at a place called Gloria Jeans.... although I don't know if you have it in the states.... they may sell it in starbucks maybe?? I also get it at the supermarket its a brand called Jarrah!!
Bony Bunny: No but I wish I was haha

Right I got to go
RUNNING TIME!!!!!
Ciao bellas!!!
xox

OUCH!

Silly me.... Very silly me....
I spilt my Hot White Chocolate (60cals) EVERYWHERE!!!! I burnt my tummy and my wrist... mostly my wrist.
I ran it under 10minutes and then bandaged it all up... but its stinging now... and typing is difficult.... silly me.... it may have been a sign not to drink it but I finished it off (30cals) because there was half left and I wasn't going to waste it...

Today was day 3!!!
When I woke up this morning I woke up with a weight I haven't seen since march!!!! 142.4lbs :D (64kgs)
I did well!!!
I had a banana smoothie for breakfast and a peanut butter sandwich... (I had it for breakfast because if I had it early I would burn it off by the end of the day :) ) so all up that would have been 300? 350?
then I had water all day
and a coke zero (1.8) for lunch and a craker (50)
then I had a muslie bar (100)
and I also had a mocha... not just any mocha but my first and last mocha EVER!!!! Did I mention I hate coffee? I didn't even drink most of it I had like 10sips and I was like EWWWWWWW although it had suppressed my hunger for two hours... I am guessing I had 40cals worth of the White Chocolate Mocha from starbucks... that was $5.50 down the drain... o well... at leat it was $5.50 on that rather than a burger meal from mcdonalds whcih would have been like 1000cals or something!!!!!!
not tooooo bad I guess
then I was able to get out of dinner because work needed someone so I had a coke zero (1.8)
then the hot white chocolate drink (30)
so whats that like 570 all up?!!! :D!!! today was more like restricting than fasting I guess but I think I did well..

Tomorrow I am going to have a sushi date with my friend... its like our thing every friday we get these amazing rice balls and devour them :) They are amazing and depending what you get in them can range from 200cals to 500cals... I get a kaarage rice ball with extra avocado the Kaarage chicken is about 70-100cals the rice is about 200cals, the avocado is aaaaabout 50cals... so all up 350cals :) which is good and yummmmmmy and makes you really full.... so you could have it for lunch and dinner... you only really need half. SOOOOO RICE BALL date here I come
I so need one... well if I haven't lost I might just eat half and save the other half for the next day...
fingers crossed that I have lost :S

RIGHT I gtg have super massive amounts of homework
CIAO BELLAS!!! XOXOX

Day 2

Well guys guess what?!!!!
I have completed day 2 of my liquid fast with no hiccups (except for eating a tomato for breakfast but they are basically 0cals so it doesn't count!!)

ARE YOU PROUD?!

I had 3 green teas, a coke zero and a trimmers delight (or something like that) smoothie (191cals)

I am happy and when I weighed myself this morning I had a 0.4lb change and hopefully its even more of a loss when I get up tomorrow!!!!!

Today was interesting

I woke up and went to school... of course. Then half way through the day I went home "sick", because my mum wanted me to go watch my brothers sports... but I was more than happy to leave school during lunch and not eat... I just went to the mall before his sports and got my smoothie, which was AMAZING! thanks BellaAna for telling me where to get those!!! They are sooo good and the burn fat while making you not hungry AT THE SAME TIME!!!!
Haha

So I watched my brother play his sports then I went home and tried to clean my room... but then my lovely boy S turned up and surprised me. I was soooooo ahppy he just randomly decided to turn up because I was having these horrible thoughts in my brain 5minutes before thinking

we haven't been texting much, but we see alot of each other on the weekends, but then what if he is just doing that because I ask? What if he is starting to get sick of me? OMG what if he is doing what I do and letting me down slowly

Then I started freaking out haha

And then someone rings my doorbell. I got annoyed for a moment because I was in the zone of cleaning and worrying... and when I answered it I saw him and the evil horrible thoughts just left my brain

And SMILED!
Oooooo I do love him!!!

BUT i don't like him when he goes out and buys the man perfume that I was going to buy him for christmas.... bitch haha... when he told me he brought it, I think he realised I Was going to buy him it because I swear my entire face dropped because I felt it drop...

haha well after that we just sat and talked and madeout for a bit which was nice because we haven't really just done that in a while.

I had to kick him out though at 5:30 because I had netball stuff which was good cause I got a good work out...

After netball I went for a run and to buy coke zero because I told mum I was at my friends for dinner.... but I wasn't ooooo sneaky!!!! haha hopefully work will call tomorrow and will want me to work... or I will go to the gym so I don't consume as many cals during dinner. I am glad I lied about dinner tonight because they had Fish and Chips..... Deep fried horriblenessnessnesss buuuuut sooooo good!

Oh and I wasn't even sore today from that boot camp.... except my tummy... but that was also the period. But I still crave that stupid peanut butter sandwhich... I might just have one tomorrow.....

Or maybe I will fast

Or I could have it and a banana and that be my breakfast, only if I lost otherwise it will just be the banana and then fast the rest of the day? YES I will do that!!!!

GYM TOMORROW!!! :) (and my peanut butter sandwich.... if I have lost!!!! Hopefully I have)

Halloween on sunday :D

I am excited because saturday night is my friends halloween party and at midnight we are all going into town for a massive party up in our awesome costumes.... I dunno if I want to go as Lady Gaga or a Pirate.... I think I am leaning more towards a pirate... actually I will go as a pirate... and I will be a sexy pirate.... why do I want to go as a pirate more? Because my legs aren't good enough for a Gaga Leotard...

I have 4weeks for my legs to be GREAT!!!! My boyfriends formal(prom/ball) is on the 4th December and my legs need to be fantastic for the afterparty and my arms skinny for the formal so I look good in both of my dresses!!!! I NEED TO BE THIN!!! AND my skin needs to be clear... does anyone have any D.I.Y facial treatments? and I also need my hair to be not frizzy and horrible... and again anyone have any D.I.Y hair treatments... apparently egg whites or something? I dunno but I need tips ASAP haha

And thank you guys sooooo much for your support!!!! And also a think you to Almost Skinny who said she will make a diet plan/meal plan thing on her page!!! Will totally be following it next year when I move out and when I am skinny...

Oh and my email is purple_chick_undercover@hotmail.com 

if anyone wants to email me they can!!!! I check that almost everyday

xx

Stay Strong beautiful girls!!!

xoxoxox

Boot camp... part 2

FMMOFSBJ! - excuse me if you are christian and don't read the next line if you are to be offened

FUCKING MOTHER MARY OF FUCKING SWEET BABY JESUS

That bloody boot camp....

omg

I

AM
DEAD!!!

And since I was doing a liquid fast... it was that much harder I mean come on... I cannot believe I had forgotten about boot camp being on today. I seriously want to die in the first five minutes when he said "RIGHT ROUND THE FIELD YOU GO"

bloody hell.

we ran around the soccer feild once, stopped to do star jumps, lunges, punches, butt kicks, squats....

and then we ran around twice, stopped to do star jumps, lunges, punches, jumping, but kicks, knee lift things, squats, and more punches.

Then hey for the hell of it lets run around the feild one more time, and "at the last part.... SPRINT"

Did I tell you I am dead?

Theeeen....

YES thats right there is more... we had to do punches like with boxing gloves and pads. so we had partners and all. I had the pads first do it wasn't so bad. but then we had to a circut

10 star jumps then run 20m to a cone then 20m back

10Knee Lifts then run 20m 20m to a cone then 20m back

20 jump things 20m to a cone then one then 20m back

theeeeen 10 star jumps, 10 knee lifts, 20 jump things 20m to a cone then 20m back

wait theres more...

10 star jumps then run 20m to a cone then 20m back

10Knee Lifts then run 20m 20m to a cone then 20m back

20 jump things 20m to a c10 Star Jumps then one then 20m back

...

then it was my turn to punch....

30 straight

30 hook

30 side

repeat for 3mins

haha then that beautiful circut again

then went back to the boxing gloves and pads

I had the pads.

Then we did another circut but this time different

10 squats then run 20m to a cone then 20m back

10 lunges then run 20m 20m to a cone then 20m back

10mountain climber thing 20m to a cone then one then 20m back

theeeeen 10 squats, 10 lunges, 10 mountain cliber things then run 20m to a cone then 20m back

again wait theres more...

10 squats then run 20m to a cone then 20m back

10 lunges then run 20m 20m to a cone then 20m back

10mountain climber thing 20m to a cone then one then 20m back

sorry do you think this is over? NO!
haha

then it was my turn to box same thing really but it was just straight boxing for 3minutes

then it was the circut and by this time I wanted to vomit.

but ana was like don't you dare stop ficking doing this C or else I will leave this fat lard arse behind

so I kept going I can't loose her again.... I gained 20lbs last time I didn't listen to her, so I pushed myself

....

yay!

Then we had sit ups while boxing... I had to stand on my partners toes with the pads while she did one sit up then punched the pads left right then go down then come up again left right 40 times...

then it was my turn

ow!!!

It doesn't help when you have your period I can tell you that...

The trainer was being nice today and finished early and started to warm us down and stretch... and my entire body was like you will pay for this tomorrow... yay

but that was boot camp...

and apparently it gets harder... yay!!!
I kinda am excited. becasue it means I will loose weight :)

Almost.Skinny I could smell it and it was calling out to me I swear.... It was saying spread me onto some bread with a whole lot of butter and eat me... you know you want to

ARGH!!!
I've never wanted peanut butter so much before in my life...

but I have my lovely green tea

so I should be set

Peanut Butter

I am soooooo craving a Peanut Butter sandwich.... I have been on this liquid fast for today and I am so wanting a Peanut Butter sandwhich.... soooooooooo bad.

but if I ruin this fast I will be soooooo angry with myself.... I need to be in the 130 range by saturday! I really need to be... I mean I weighed myself this morning @ 143.8lbs

so I need to loose 4lbs by friday.

Yeah.

I am doing this fast with BellaAna, whom I have actually known since I was 5 which is actually kinda funny.

I am also doing the fast with Starving Artist, and also bony bunny will be joining tomorrow...

YAY! I will stay super strong for you girls and not break my fast.

I had a small hiccup today tho, but I will be able to make up for it tonight at boot camp

so thats all good.

I have also noticed that my posts have actually been really boring... Haha... I don't know why because my last week has been really eventful, expesh the weekend... I think I am just becoming a boring person... or just a super busy person... and I want to post supermegaawesome posts but I seem to find it impos because at school I am always watched by friends when I am on the computer and at home mum is always wanting to do stuff and I don't have time to just sit down and blog and throw my thoughts out onto this for ya'll to read...

*sigh*

And I still can't blog today...

I promise

and I mean promise to have some more decent thing to say

because I think my posts are a little dry haha

and yes bony bunny - coke zero isn't zero calorie... lame right?

xx

bye my lovelies

The Other Guys

Today was AMAZING!
twas my 5 months with my gorgeous man S
I do love him :)

first off I started the day off with

one weetbix - 53cals

and milk (idk calorie wise)

...

then went shopping with mum

got a chai latte (calories?)

got some shoes and yeah

...

then S came round and we then went to the movies and saw "The Other Guys" it is such a good movie!!!!
AND Mark Walburg (I think thats how you spell his name) is sexy. Well you might not think so but me and my friend love him... when we saw "Date Night" we both gasped when Mark opened the door topless... WOW!

But yeah haha

I do recomend "The Other Guys" if your in the mood for a laugh.

...

AAAAAND I only ate a handfull of lollies (200cals)

and chips (350cals)

and a coke zero (1.8cals)

...

Then we went shopping and got him a shirt.

...

then I went to work

so I don't have to have dinner now :)
and I had a half a coke zero (0.9cals)

I think I did well since I was resricting

:)

But I am happy again

I have been very happy this weekend

which is kinda a change

xx

I am going to fast tomorrow...

Anyone keen to join for the Tuesday fast I am doing? I might even do it until wednesday.

Yes I will defs do a two day fast... I want to look good for this weekend.

Its halloween and my costume is HOT!
haha

so I will gym it everyday this week and get toned and beautiful

xx

byyyyyeeeeee my pretties!!!!
I shall talk to you tomorrow

017

So today I had work... I was doing soooooo well.

I had a 1/3 600ml diet coke for my first break and 2 magical elves (these chocolate things with popping candy probs like 60cals each)

Then my mother turns up 30mins before my lunch break and tells me she is going to take me out to lunch.... YAY? I had sushi which was about 342cals and finished my diet coke (2.4cals) off.

Then I had this chocolate bar (220cals)

So I think I did well 624.4cals

_____________________________________________________________________________________

and then there was another 600cals added to that when my mother brought home some candyfloss, chocolate log, and a movie "Leap Year" an amazing movie. We watched the movie and ate a bag of candyfloss (cotton candy) each and I felt nothing while eating it.... except for a sickly feeling in my tummy and that horrible sweet feeling in my mouth.

O well

this really shows that I am not strong enough...

tomorrow is a new day :S

Tomorrow is going to be a fantastic day :):D

Its official me and the bf have been going out for 5months tomorrow....

and he is taking me to mini golf :) maybe

but I am ecstatic!!!

5 months is a long time for me.... I mean my relationships last 3 months tops.... but they start to fizzel at like the half way point of like 1month or 1 and a 1/2 months, just to let the boys down easy haha

haven't had a guy break up with me since my first bf M.

I was 14 and he was 15 the year above and he broke up with me because he thought I was cheating on him but I wasn't.... and now that I think about it I soooooo could have gotten him back.. But IDC anymore because I am with my amazing boyf S!

I love him sooooo much

I am over the moon...

Now my lovelies I must go to sleep because he wants to meet very early tomorrow (slightly annoying since its a public holiday AND I could have slept in but owell)
xx

Glass-Slippers

xoxo

016

I want to be thin.

I want to be perfect.

I want to be strong.

I want to be skinny.

I will
I will

Happy!

I AM HAPPY!!!! :)

Yeah I know a change really

I restricted yesterday having only a blt (home-made no mayo and I don't count vegies, just the bread a bacon.)

The I went my friends 18th which was awesome and had a glass of wine and a bowl of grapes

:):):)

I am pretty much extreamly proud of my self.... I'm very very happy that I did well exspesh after such a crappy week.

I woke up yesterday weighing

145.6

and woke up this morning with the lovely numbers of...

144.3

:)

and today so far my in take is.......

100cal peaches (From a can w/ syryp)

thats it...

and I am going on a really long hike/walk today with two of my friends which should be really fun and time consuming and I wont have to eat as much just water and bananas

and then maybe I will go the gym

I think being a happier is because I have one assignment down.... and 6 to go.... One for design, one for photography, 3 for graphics, and one for ICT. It is pretty good to have an assignment off my shoulders really. Its fantastic to know that it done finished, completed.... never to be seen again :)

It makes me happy really.

I am a very happy C...

and then last night my boyfriend picked me up and took me to the party :)

which made me happy too

- Its our five months on Monday :):)
Loooooongest relationship record for me EVER :D
I AM HAPPY!!

can you tell

xx

talk to you after my walk my lovelies

xx

Thursday

Last day of my fast...

I didn't do to well yesterday.... I could have done better... well better for a fast

A smoothie for breakfast

1/4 of a peanut butter sandwhich for lunch

 and a salad for dinner

can't really call it a fast more like restricting

Oh well can't really beat myself up... I didn't put on any weight or loose any

still sitting at 145.6lbs

145lbs has been my constant for the past week

well at least I might add another day to my fast

then I wont eat anything tomorrow and go to the GYM!
and loose that stupid 145.6 and make it a nice lower number

....

can't talk much today have lots of school work... I am actually taking the day off to complete it all :S

Comments:

Almost Skinny: burpees!!!! EVIL!!! I swore I was going to pass out... or barf  haha... I still stretched after boot camp, and still my "abs" hurt... I can't even laugh or cough properly yet haha
Lovely Bones: Thank you :) They should improve hopefully haha

Starving Artist: The book is great... I don't like her mom Dr Marrigan that much atm... I haven't gotten to far in the book yet been far too busy. and thanks :)
Kelly: Yeah its good doing the bootcamp and hopefully the stats improve:D

coco: your welcome... my body should be thanking me, but atm its having a little whinge, my muscles are aching a little, but I stretched I swear haha.

Rozy: no I did 28 - half push ups, when you are on your knees instead of on your toes haha.. less effort

Bony bunny: I hope I get tiny... fingers crossed

ALSO on a side note :D:D:D 8 followers :)

yayayayayayayay

and I promise that after friday you shall have more of a post to read.... I have been far toooooooo busy with school.... stupid school

xx

stay strong lovelies

DEAD!

Just got back from boot camp...

and

O

M

G

I AM UNFIT!

the guy running it I swear just did everything so it would be harder for us

we had the fitness test today

• We had a 1/2mile jog to warm up
• then a 1mile run (I got 9:57mins I know embarrasing)
• then 2minutes of push ups (I did 28 1/2 push ups even more embarrasing)
• then 2minutes of situps (49! which was good I guess)
• then this other thing which I don't know the name of where you jump up then touch the ground then go into a push up position then come back up and jump and tart again for 2minutes (I got 20 which was baaaaad)
• the shuttle runs of a 20metre distance for 2minutes there is one and back is one (I did 16)

and that was the fitness test I sucked!!!!

But I will improve!!!!!

Then we did some kick boxing which was awesome fun :)

better go now dinner time :(

Rice and veggies!!!

Boot Camp

Wow today has been a great day so far :)

I have had a banana and water, lots and lots of water!!!! I am doing a fast with two girls Starving artst and Runs Alone... we are also all reading wintergirls together! an amazing book! I really do like this book, too bad the book is super water damaged :(

Right well I am off to this Boot Camp exercising thing and I am excited!!! it is going to be great and I shall be skinny :) :) :)

xx

011

Long day...

I wish it would end now.

It could end now if I wanted it to

I could crawl into bed now and say goodnight to the world.

7:48pm

Too Early?

A little.

I am going to crawl into the comfort of my covers and cover up the ache of my head.

The ache of not doing well

The ache of knowing I could fail this year

The ache of knowing I might not reach my goal weight by the end of November

If only I could lock myself away in my room and waste away under my covers until I am perfect

I am just tired really I swear

It's just when I am tired I think really down

and depressing

and it doesn't help when my mum is on my case

about school, about work, about uni's, about how breakfast is the best meal of the day, and helping around the house.........

All I want to do is lie in bed and let sleep consume me until I am refreshed.

But whenever I want to do this,

my alarm rudely awakens me for a horribly long day at school

School please hurry up and finish

16days needs to come sooner

please

xx

Hard at Work

OK so like I decided this morning I was going to restrict myself.... hahahaha boy did that go wrong

Woke up this morning after a FANTASTIC DAY yesterday where I only ate;

3slices of bread (300)

2 oreos (100)
Chicken (300)

Mash Potatos (100)

800!!!

But!!!!

Wait for it I went for a sprint on the treadmill at home while watching FTV (fashion tv) and burnt 100!

then went to the gym and burnt 200 on the treadmill

then on the bike machine 100

then did some weights for toning 100

so I burnt off 500 cals :)

but then today, I woke up at 7:30 with my boyfriends arm around my pudgy belly, I decided to resrict myself today... started off the day with an apple

then went to work

(I work at a supermarket... yeah I know)

I drank water on my first break

then 20mins before my second break and my next apple

Hot flushes started.... (When I get hot flushes, it normally means I will pass out, I naturally have a low blood sugars, and when I get too hot I faint)
Fuck

Yeah I almost fainted at work

so the supervisor, made me drink water, went out and brought me a bread roll, chicken nuggets, and lollies, to get some "protien, sugar and carbs" a.k.a "fat" in me. Sends me on my break early

Binging starts

Third break, Ice Cream, bread roll, chocolate yoghurt

After work, apricot danish, fries, chicken salad, bread, hot chocolate!!!

And now I am sitting at my laptop wanting to hit myself....... tomorrow, I promise, no food except the food mum gives me for tea.... maybe I will just complain I don't feel well... then there will be no food!!!

*sigh*

anyone else have a shit sunday?

I did

Ok so tomorrow;

• Wake up
• Run on treadmil
• Get ready for school
• Art
• Graphics
• Gym
• Study
• Sleep

(oh whats that no food?! good!!!!)

Started reading Wintergirls with Runs Alone OMG!!!! I love it.... unfortunatly, my drinkbottle leaked through out my work bag and ruined it.... its still in ok condision, enough that you can read it..... but my OCD with books is terrible, I hate having them in bad condision, like seriously, I hate dog earred books, I hate library books with stains and tears.... haha and most of all I hate water damaged books, expesh if they are new, like this book! But yeah noooooooo, after not even owning it for more than 4 days I ruin it.... its like my fav book right now and I ruined it before I got to the end :(

*sigh*

Hope all you lovely girlies are doing well!!!

xx

thanks for the support

:)

Piggy

OK so it was my friends 18th last night. Went to town!!! (Even though friday night town is shit)
 Soooooo much food :(
The had little savouries, and chocolate, and chips, and dinosaur gummie lollies (My fav) and like pizza.

So much for fasting :(
AAAAND on top of that I had a glass of wine, a beer, and an RTD (CALORIES!!!!)
I didn't even get drunk enough to vomit all the shit out of my system!!!!!
damn my last weekend and being too drunk, I just really didn''t want to end up like how I was last weekend so I didn't drink as much and I had lots of food :(

I should have just stuck with my water and I really didn't need to drink. Did I? Nope, but I did, and I am an idiot!!!

*sigh*

I just really want to see my collar bones, hip bones, and the SPACE BETWEEN MY THIGHS!!!!!
thats all I really want most, is that space between my thighs.

The space that I had when I was 10 and didn't eat to much junk food because mum used to say junk food was a treat. I dídn't have my own money to burn through my pockets on fish and chips, mcdonalds, kfc, chinese, indian, kabaabs, burger king. I didn't have to worry about the love handles that handover my jeans. Or the thighs that spill out below my shorts!

I want it!

I want it bad!

anyway...

weighed myself

145.6lbs

$5 to Polly

so far

$7 in the piggy bank...

Ironic much

PIGGY bank

for the times when I pig and the times that the pig looses weight

Piggy loose weight

Piggy

Piggy

Pig

008

Fasting today...
Hope all goes well.
I'm not bringing my wallet to school so I wont be tempted to buy anything from the school canteen. And I am just going to hangout in the art rooms all day, because we can't eat in there.... No one will question it hopefully :)
Hope all you lovely girls are doing well :)
(I am sitting on 143.6lbs this morning (: very happy about that!!! $2 into Polly!!!)
xx

Assignments = Death

Well as it was, last night I was sooooooo Paranoid.... He actually had the tummy flu and was really sick last night. So that was the reason for the blunt texts *sigh* I am too paranoid.... I really need to learn how to relax. But then how can I relax when everything at school is due in and everything is closing in with 20days left of school...... I have actually started to panic!!!! NOOOO! Calm, I need calm, but I can't be, I am pretty sure I just failed my assesment....... because I didn't even had in half of in :S, I have decided that I am a worrier, not a warrior..... Maybe next year I shall be a Warrior! Yes I will be neat, organised, rich and SKINNY! Yes skinny, skinny so I can wear a bikini during summer and not have to wear shorts over my chubby thighs, but bear some skin with skinny legs!

I have decided I am going to have a reward system.... If I gain weight... I have to put $5 per lb into Polly my new Pink Piggy Bank... and if I loose weight $2 per lb.... so soon I shall have lots of money, for when I reach my goal weight and size and buy a new HOT wardrobe (although it will be brought from cute little op shops which are so much cooler than the mainstream.... yes?) "money, money, must sound funny, in a rich mans world"

Mmmm my mum came into my room just before saying she joined us up for this kick boxing fit thing boot camp!!! YES! I will be super fit and skinny!!! Thank you mum.... I think she must think I am either unhealthy, unfit, or fat. Because she also brought me a gym membership... is my mum awesome or what?!!! But not if she thinks I am fat, unhealthy or unfit.... but just becuase she brought me a gym membership and paid for this kick boxing fit thing boot camp.

Right so now I am superf exhausted from this entire day, school, then homework, then Umpiring for netball, then a run... I really need a great nice looooooong sleep so good night loves xx

Paranoia

Ok so normally I don't get freaked out when boys don't text back decently or long enough....

But when my boyfriend texts back when I ask him what he is up to for the week and if he wants to hang out for an hour sometime this week and I get a reply of... "Duno babe study, Sorry g2g ill talk to you later xx" I freak out.... Serious I am freaking out now! I don't know why but I am and I really don't want to be freaking out.. buuuuuut every since I found out his ex tried to get into him on Saturday night I have kinda become freaked... Like "what if he wanted to get into her?".................. I do not like feeling this way I mean its stupid he most definitley didn't think that.... But when she is über skinny, with the longest legs I have ever seen and she is gorgeous.... Am I allowed to worry a little?

Anyway... Today I consumed;

Breakfast: NADA!

Snack: Grapes

Lunch: Rice Ball

Dinner: Vegetables and Corned Beef (only ate small portion)

No idea how many cals buuuut I am tooooooo tired to care and far to stressed..... stupid school!!! It really should go die..... Or burn to the ground....... haha! Anyone else hate school.... Thank god there is only 21 days left of school. 21DAYS!!!! 21DAYS until I can go out and do what I want!!! And then after that only 3months until University, in my own little apartment with 4 other girls in the Uni halls..... No parents...... No rules (except the uni ones)....... am I excited? Oh gosh yes.......... I so so so so so so so so so cannot wait..... I sent away my portfolio today :) only 18days until I find out if I got in :D I am sooooooo excited :D fingers crossed that I did!!! :D because I have to leave this house and city.... can't stand it here ha!

So how many of you are in Uni?! Collage?! Whatever it is lol? How about in Highschool (which is a bitch may I add) Yes school is a bitch.... Although Uni wont be because I will be majoring in my mpost favourite thing in the world.... FASHION!(and business) Not toooooooo excited about the business part but meh have to do something else that can help me get far in life if fashion fails me! But it wont because I love making and designing clothes :P Yeah.... and atm I am loving one fashionista..... Taylor Momsen.... she is skinny and she has a really cute personaly style!!!!

SOOOOOOOOO SKINNY!!!!!!!!!!

so lucky

Comments: lovelybones; i'm not going to fret will maybe do a water fast sometime this week and do better

Runs Alone; Yeah well my money is going into my piggy bank that i brought today, its really cute and pink :) I'm putting all my loose change there until I get enough money to buy some cute heels!!!

Well I hope my week gets better!

xx

005

:(

I know only moments go I left school to return home, and on the way home the KFC called out to the loose change in my pocket..............

Do I hate my self?

YES

...

...

I most definitley do

Why?

WHY?

WHY?

why did I buy it?

I don't know but I did

and now I am going to have to go for an extra long run on the treadmill tonight

*sigh*

Hungover

Yesterdays hangover was soooooooooooo bad!!!!!

Because I didn't eat the night before, my normal bottle of wine that doesn't get me drunk when I have eaten tea got me so drunk I couldnt walk in a straight line.... not good... I don't really remember much.... stupid stupid me. Lets say I'm either never drinking again, or not drinking as much, or just eating a bit before drinking.... :P

And my list = FAIL

I did two things on it.... and that was go to my friends party and get drunk. Let me just tell you I accomplished those two things to my greatest ability in the world

GO ME! Get outrageously drunk and end up vomiting up nothing because I hadn't eaten.... It was horrible, very, very, VERY, VERY horrible.

And then yesterday.... I had work with my lovely friend Hannah the Hangover. She was banging on my head and pushing on my tummy.... She was O so nice to me :S well as nice as ones hangover could be. It wasn't tooooooooo bad but the food that I had to consume to make me feel slightly less dizzy and sore was not good not good at all, lets just say horrible.... HAHA

Everything about yesterday was pretty much horrible. I had a massive fight with me mum and dad. Almost got kicked out of home.... well I don't think I would have been I just think it was an empty threat about not cleaning my room or doing homework. :S

O well I think we are all good, mum woke me up this morning and said she was sorry. haha I kinda am not that happy still, but then thats me I can hold grudges for a loooooooooooooong time but normally I forgive them in my head and just not talk to them because they think I am pissed of at them still, but really I am not. They normally figure this out when I am drunk or tipsy because I like to go into share mode...... and when I mean share I mean SHARE!!!!!! Share everything..... everything and anything hahaha.... which in some case can be a bad or a good thing... depending :S

haha

And today.... Well today was so average first day back to school... Am I tired?..... YES! I woke up this morning with my first bags under my eyes :( NOT a good thing at all :(

very depressing really..... is this a sign to start taking more care of my skin and more sleep? I think so

toooooo bad I have a SHIT LOAD of homework..... and assignments that are VERY important (very very very very important, like university entrance important)

hmmmm aaaaaactually I should be doing that now, and then I shall go to the gym to work of the BLT I had for lunch..... BLT and BLATs are my weakness.... but they are just tooo gooooooood..... I WILL HAVE SELF CONTROL! (starting tomorrow :S)

But I have lost 2lbs over the weeked :D that is a goooooood thing cause I'm down to my first goal weight :D:D:D:D YAY!

Commenterererers;

lovelybones: Thank you! :) you are so lovely xx

Runs Alone: HI! Yes quite new and I love it... and I love reading everyones, its inspiring

Now I must be off my loves

my cherished butterflies.

Homework and the Gym calls, no dinner for me tonight :) for I don't eat when I am angry at my family

xx

ME

Hello,

I don't think I formally introduced myself....

My name is.... haha now that would be silly, lets just call me Cinderella...  fits perfectly I guess. My name starts with C and my username - Xo-glass-slippers-oX... :)

Or you can just call me C

its really up to you

now I must be off for a nice long run.... stupid french fries

Ciao!!!! xx

btw a happy surprise when I woke up :D

my first ever follower!!!!! lovelybones :) xx

thank you :) now I have at least one person who my ramblings could be read by

xx :D

chaos, confusion [&&] clutter

My room is a mess....... Like actually it's horrible.... Buuuuut I sooo cannot be bothered cleaning it up!!!! Ahhhhh the hassel of actually doing something that envolves effort.

I mean even going to the gym these days is such a huge chore.... but its fine when I am there but not so when I am there but just getting out ouf the house after school or during the weekend and driving there just uses far tooooooo much brain power.... but thats what happens when there is only 4weeks and 3days left of my last year at high school all the trying has gone because I just want to go have fun!!!

I had a good dose of fun yesterday... helped the boyfriend buy some $180 jeans (Yeah I know.... the most expensive thing I own in my wardrobe is $100 and I think that is my formal dress) how he has that sort of money I don't know. He brought me soem tights and some really cute socks tho :DD, oh and lunch............... :( pretty annoyed.... I really wanted sushi.... but there was no good places that did Rice Balls so I "shared" his souvalaki I had few mouthfulls (revoulting) of the oily fatty chicken, and some of the bread, and the lettuce..... After lunch we watched a street performer and then he left for work.... and then I met up with my friend and did some much needed bargain hunting shopping!!!! Sigh..... I wish I could buy shorts but I can't because I need to loose weight before I can... But shirts the "IN" thing is baggy here so I am sorted!!!

So on my list I did a few things;

I helped my boyfriend find a pair of jeans, exercised by walking around town, didn't eat less because when I got drunk me and my friends thought it would be a fantastic idea to eat a whole lot of fries with garlic aoli, and then when we were in town some boys brought us a cheeseburger each from mcdonalds..... DIE DIE DIE!!!!! haha

Buuuuut all in all I HAD FUN! which was what I was meaning to do and did!!!!

However today was BAAAAAD!!!!

Hangovers = fatty fried foods to cure!!!!!!

:(:(:(

I had..... wait for it!!!!!

• a blt bagel combo from McD's
• a scoop of chips
• Subway!!!!!!! (foot long, chicken fillet)

EWWWWWWW!

But I went for a run!!!!! :) that maybe worked off the scoop of chips

maybe....

Yeazaaash

But my brain is mush so setting a goal too high for myself tomorrow will be stupid!!!!

hahaha but

this is what I would like to get done:

• Uni Portfolio completed
• Room tidied
• Design Assignment
• Photography Homework
• Graphics Assignment
• GYM
• Go to friends party
• GET DRUNK! (i'm not an alcoholic, it's just I'm 18 ((legal!!!!)) and its the last weekend of the school holidays soooooooo why not!!!!)

001

Lets just start this blog with a Question Mark ???

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY OLD BLOG?!

I lost it :(  and lost it after two months (three posts)

I don't know how aaaand I don't know why but its gone and I miss it and I want it back!!!!

I could have forgotten my username and password because I had not used it in like a month

stupid forgetful blonde me

o well

life really does suck for me...

school is average, life is average, lost my old blog, super tired all the time, shit loads of homework, have to work, but yet I have no money, portfolios to do for uni, have to apply for uni, have to apply for accomodation for uni.......... and probs a whole lot more but ya'll (whoever is out there reading this) is probs boring you... for I am probably a very boring person with a whole lot of very boring sometimes maybe interesting but you never know what comes out of my brain.... and this is probs not makign any sense because I am uber uber uber tired to the max!!!

this blog is about everything, like my want to be skinny, my desire for fashion, my life dramas, my life in general, like I said whatever I want to say I will post!

Soooo I should go to bed so I can text my boyfriend properly without sending him half assed text replys without reading his texts either..... I definitley fail at multi tasking for a woman

Tasks for tomorrow:

• Help my boyfriend buy jeans
• Eat less
• Blog
• Exercise
• Get drunk
• Go to town
• HAVE FUN!