Leaving him was one of the hardest things I did...
He was adventurous, and had a beautiful soul.
He had his own demons but he still managed to light up the darkest part of my soul.
I'm scared that I gave him a piece of me when we climbed into the van, fooled around and told each other the deepest darkest secrets, the ones you tell to strangers. He didn't run screaming, he stayed and wanted to be my friend... then more.
But now I don't know how I feel. I'm a little lost. And it may seem stupid to give this boy so much meaning over my life. But I was just learning how to smile without him and then now being in a different city, different country, a different hemisphere, I can feel myself slowly falling back into this pit of darkness again. I was almost out.
I haven't purged in two months.
Binging has started again.
He made me want to be different.
He made me feel beautiful
Fuck him
I hate him for making this so fucking difficult
Why couldn't he just be my friend still.... I know it's 'hard' but I honestly cannot lose anyone else
I'm drowning here
