To think that I am only a mere 7147 days old.... now you know my birthday, and age if you can figure it out
Just doing the LDD (lemon detox diet)
Just starting day 3 now at 1:25am here
I am craving like OMG!!!
I want fries
I want a bacon, tomato and cheese toastie
I want pizza
I want a BBQ rodeo burger from BK
I want a ham salad croissant
I want an egg curried sandwich
I want a huge pile of chocolate from my non-existing valentine :(
I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want
BUT I AM NOT THAT HUNGRY!!!!
yes my tummy rumbles, but alas, I know I can still survive without food..... but it is the fact that I am denying myself the pleasure of eating, that my cravings have gotten worse.... it is probably worse also because I work at a mother fucking supermarket, with all that yummy food!!! I have already planned my first meal................................................................................ ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm WTF I have until next Thursday, and I have already planned it?!!!
well I am going to have some Leek and Potato soup, since I wont be able to eat solids for like another 4 days after, but gaaaaahhhhh I honestly miss the one of the things I hate/love doing... Eating. I hate eating.... no scratch that, I hate putting on weight....... :( ...... I am 75.9kgs at the moment a BMI of 23.8.... its disgusting... I want to die not really, but you know what I mean) I am sloooooowly heading towards the mother fucking over weight section....... I CAN'T DO THAT!
ok imma go sleep and dies now
xx
ciao bellas
will be back here tomorrow though xx
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
I'm Back
Ok so for a while I have been MIA.... and I hope it doesn't happen again.... maybe, well I wouldn't know.... did you guys even notice haha. Well anyways I have been still here just not writing.... I mean what is the point? My weight has gone up AGAIN! I AM NOW AT AN ALL TIME HIGH! 163.4lbs (74.1kgs) UGH! disgusting.... all I do is eat, sleep, gym, then eat some more. I am useless. hahahahahhahahahha O how I haven't changed one bit.
So whats been happening in my life? Nothing....
I got drunk last weekend and plan to do so this weekend
I am moving temporarily to my friends flat, whilst I try to find myself a flat with T.... wooo
I went on a date tonight, first one since the ex *sigh* (still fucking wont stop thinking about him....stupid brain! But anyways the date sucked. well it wasn't all bad... first we had dinner..... and his ex gf happened to be at the restaurant..... um AWKS! he got up and talked to her, leaving me looking like a dick sitting there picking at my salad, then when they finally stopped talking, we talked.... ok so I like rich boys/guys/men (who doesn't) and he is lovely, but there is one thing I hate is when they think they are better than everyone and brag about it..... so he kept going on about travelling and blah blah rich talk! and I am just sitting there like "fuck" "nice" "jealous" the entire time! I felt so insecure about my family life, but I don't normally, because I am not poor, or you know, my family is just ordinary(ish) you know what I mean.... it's just the way he came across, so fucking arrogant.... and he had to pay for EVERYTHING! he wouldn't even let me buy the pop corn for the movie after......... I love being independent with my money you know, I want to be able to show guys that I can you know be fine with out some fucking man to be there to hold me up...... that's like the one of the things that just pisses me off! GAHKjghskadjhfkl;ashifulgsekjhaseduiyegfia;weyguiakjedfbvnio[egbjnmc9uegbg *sigh!* I just asdklhfakldjfkjhbg nahhakldfhjgk sorry haha, I liked him I did but the way he thought he was slightly better than some people, and the comments he made about somethings ghakjfhdksdjfh
Buuuuuut anyways have aaaaaaaaaaaanother date tomorrow... I know whaaaadda slut (loljks) hopefully this one is more interesting :S
So thats pretty much the most exciting thing that has happened because my life is sooooooooo interesting :D CHEA!
Right I have to go to sleep now xox
So whats been happening in my life? Nothing....
I got drunk last weekend and plan to do so this weekend
I am moving temporarily to my friends flat, whilst I try to find myself a flat with T.... wooo
I went on a date tonight, first one since the ex *sigh* (still fucking wont stop thinking about him....stupid brain! But anyways the date sucked. well it wasn't all bad... first we had dinner..... and his ex gf happened to be at the restaurant..... um AWKS! he got up and talked to her, leaving me looking like a dick sitting there picking at my salad, then when they finally stopped talking, we talked.... ok so I like rich boys/guys/men (who doesn't) and he is lovely, but there is one thing I hate is when they think they are better than everyone and brag about it..... so he kept going on about travelling and blah blah rich talk! and I am just sitting there like "fuck" "nice" "jealous" the entire time! I felt so insecure about my family life, but I don't normally, because I am not poor, or you know, my family is just ordinary(ish) you know what I mean.... it's just the way he came across, so fucking arrogant.... and he had to pay for EVERYTHING! he wouldn't even let me buy the pop corn for the movie after......... I love being independent with my money you know, I want to be able to show guys that I can you know be fine with out some fucking man to be there to hold me up...... that's like the one of the things that just pisses me off! GAHKjghskadjhfkl;ashifulgsekjhaseduiyegfia;weyguiakjedfbvnio[egbjnmc9uegbg *sigh!* I just asdklhfakldjfkjhbg nahhakldfhjgk sorry haha, I liked him I did but the way he thought he was slightly better than some people, and the comments he made about somethings ghakjfhdksdjfh
Buuuuuut anyways have aaaaaaaaaaaanother date tomorrow... I know whaaaadda slut (loljks) hopefully this one is more interesting :S
So thats pretty much the most exciting thing that has happened because my life is sooooooooo interesting :D CHEA!
Right I have to go to sleep now xox
Sunday, January 1, 2012
2012!!!!!!
Put your glowstick bracelets in the freezer for next year, pat yourself on the back and wish yourself a very awesome new years no matter how cold, windy or flooded you were I hope you had an awesome time xx 2012 HERE WE COME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Day Thirty Four
GOSH it has been a while... and for that I am sorry
and I am also sorry that I am still fat!
And for this reason I am no longer doing the 60day challenge because I honestly wasn't following the plans or anything since about day 21
been too busy eating and sleeping and drinking
I am liquid fasting from now until Tuesday... and from Tuesday on I am going to be eating very little..... on Thursday though I am fasting
and then it is Christmas
and then after Christmas until the 15th I am going to try fast
so yeah
General Update
I go home on Tuesday for Christmas
I have a Christmas BBQ on Tuesday
My friends b-day party is on Thursday
My brother just came up and visited me... left 30mins ago
I have been working almost everyday
I am broke as balls
I am 72kgs.... my weight just keeps going up
ugh
and I am also sorry that I am still fat!
And for this reason I am no longer doing the 60day challenge because I honestly wasn't following the plans or anything since about day 21
been too busy eating and sleeping and drinking
I am liquid fasting from now until Tuesday... and from Tuesday on I am going to be eating very little..... on Thursday though I am fasting
and then it is Christmas
and then after Christmas until the 15th I am going to try fast
so yeah
General Update
I go home on Tuesday for Christmas
I have a Christmas BBQ on Tuesday
My friends b-day party is on Thursday
My brother just came up and visited me... left 30mins ago
I have been working almost everyday
I am broke as balls
I am 72kgs.... my weight just keeps going up
ugh
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Day Twenty Four
Is loosing weight one of your top priorities in life?
At the moment
Yes
Today
Breakfast: 1 cup green tea
Lunch: 1/4C Quinoa 150cals
1 egg 90cals
Dinner: Coke Zero 2cals
1/C Quinoa 150cals
1 egg 90cals
TOTAL: 482
Exercise:
Sh'bam: 400cals
Treadmil: 75cals
Walking 40mins: 135cals
TOTAL: 610
OVERALL TOTAL: -128
:)
At the moment
Yes
Today
Breakfast: 1 cup green tea
Lunch: 1/4C Quinoa 150cals
1 egg 90cals
Dinner: Coke Zero 2cals
1/C Quinoa 150cals
1 egg 90cals
TOTAL: 482
Exercise:
Sh'bam: 400cals
Treadmil: 75cals
Walking 40mins: 135cals
TOTAL: 610
OVERALL TOTAL: -128
:)
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Day Twenty Three
Do you feel that your weight holds you back socially?
Yeah... well kind of. I don't really like going out with friends. Well I do, it just has to be with in certain time frames like 1pm - 7pm... and 6pm - 4am etc.... so I can lie about eating.... It sounds bad I know, but its the truth really.... I can't help it. I mean I could but if I went out with them, it normally ends with my favourite food... potatoes... and not any kind of potatoes, but FRIED potatoes...... mainly from mc donalds, or KFC...... its BAD
So today I have had
1x Up & Go Strawberry 350mls - 253cals
3x V sugar free energy drinks 250mls - 22cals
1 Banana - 90cals
TOTAL 365
Exercise
Body Combat: -545
Cycle: -55
Walk 1hr: -225
TOTAL: -825
OVERALL TOTAL: -460
I know its bad for me, but I really need to fit this dress!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry
xx
Monday, December 5, 2011
Day Twenty Two
Day Twenty One: Do you listen to music when you work out?
Yes I do... I have a playlist of music that is from thinspo videos I have watched. The music reminds me of all the skinny girls I watched on the video.
Day Twenty Two: Are you generally smaller or larger than your friends?
Smaller probably, but not by much
Week Four!! Switch up your diet. Try one fruit and one vegetable you have never tried before, and learn how to cook a new healthy meal.
I would if I was eating this week
Which I would like to appologise for yesterday
I ate so so so much
I got pizza :(
I am sorry
But I am fasting with BellaAna until thursday, and then doing one more day after that
also xXpOsErXx will be joining, if anyone else wants to it will be great!!
COMMENTS:
xXpOsErXx: Well Monday to next Sunday will be great as I failed hard yesterday :S
Impractical Shopper: Its not the same tattoo but the saying is similar... I chose dance, because I love to dance, even though I don't take classes any more, it is still second nature to me. But that is cool how you want a similar one!!!! :)
I am sorry I failed yesterday
xx
Yes I do... I have a playlist of music that is from thinspo videos I have watched. The music reminds me of all the skinny girls I watched on the video.
Day Twenty Two: Are you generally smaller or larger than your friends?
Smaller probably, but not by much
Week Four!! Switch up your diet. Try one fruit and one vegetable you have never tried before, and learn how to cook a new healthy meal.
I would if I was eating this week
Which I would like to appologise for yesterday
I ate so so so much
I got pizza :(
I am sorry
But I am fasting with BellaAna until thursday, and then doing one more day after that
also xXpOsErXx will be joining, if anyone else wants to it will be great!!
COMMENTS:
xXpOsErXx: Well Monday to next Sunday will be great as I failed hard yesterday :S
Impractical Shopper: Its not the same tattoo but the saying is similar... I chose dance, because I love to dance, even though I don't take classes any more, it is still second nature to me. But that is cool how you want a similar one!!!! :)
I am sorry I failed yesterday
xx
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Day Twenty
Do you binge? How often? And what triggers it?
No I never bingelies!!! I binge all the freaking time. Like I said I don't binge! Yes, Yes I do.... about one or two times a week... and I don't even purge it up.... and its not a one off, its like the whole day! Nothing triggers my binges, honestly I don't have a problem... it's normally when I am bored.... I need laxatives... I don't want to purge.... I don't like purging... but I work in a supermarket, that defs is triggering.
30mins of exercise a day is going great!!!! Haven't done today's just yet.... going to do 2 hours before I go to sleep.......... I ate TWO yes TWO packets of migoreng.... don't want to talk about it. Not just that I ate 8 kiwifruit, and a bowl of cereal!!!! UGH so fat
Can't eat tomorrow. Or Monday, Tuesday. Or Wednesday.............. Definitely not Thursday or Friday..... So lets have it.... who wants to fast with me for 6days? Hmmmmm I need to fit into a dress by Saturday...... I can get into it now but not properly....
Fuck I hate my binges... because I always get to a good place with eating healthy and then BAM migorengafghancerealkiwifruit binge in my face! and then I don't want to eat for a week or a couple of days
buuuuut I am definitely going to do this liquid fast...... yeah only cup of soups two a day tops, green tea, more green tea, and more green tea, laxative tea, gum, water, starbucks passion tea....... Wow so much! and if I get hungry as a mother fucker, I can have a Tomato, or small Banana
Right Have to clean my room
xoxox
No I never binge
30mins of exercise a day is going great!!!! Haven't done today's just yet.... going to do 2 hours before I go to sleep.......... I ate TWO yes TWO packets of migoreng.... don't want to talk about it. Not just that I ate 8 kiwifruit, and a bowl of cereal!!!! UGH so fat
Can't eat tomorrow. Or Monday, Tuesday. Or Wednesday.............. Definitely not Thursday or Friday..... So lets have it.... who wants to fast with me for 6days? Hmmmmm I need to fit into a dress by Saturday...... I can get into it now but not properly....
Fuck I hate my binges... because I always get to a good place with eating healthy and then BAM migorengafghancerealkiwifruit binge in my face! and then I don't want to eat for a week or a couple of days
buuuuut I am definitely going to do this liquid fast...... yeah only cup of soups two a day tops, green tea, more green tea, and more green tea, laxative tea, gum, water, starbucks passion tea....... Wow so much! and if I get hungry as a mother fucker, I can have a Tomato, or small Banana
Right Have to clean my room
xoxox
Friday, December 2, 2011
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Day Eighteen
Day Seventeen: Have you ever been called fat or skinny?
WELL that really depends I mean I have been called both but I have been called "fat" like when people you know just want to insult me and call me "fat bitch" etc... and have been called skinny by fat people so I never count it.
Day Eighteen: Do you have to eat any meals wit your family? Are they for or against your diet?
Oh the wonderful joys of not living at home, but when I am home, I do eat meals with the fam, but not all f it, and that is because they are 100% against extreme dieting
Right I am so drunk and I just woke up this is not ok......
I am going to the gym at 11
going to sit in the sauna for an hour... ok thats an exaggeration
but I am going to sweat the drunk out
it works for me
seriously
and OMFG I drank so much last night
I have no idea how I remember everything but I do
and I made out with a really good looking babealicious babe
like WOW
haha
so yeah to drunk for life as always
xoxox
love you guys
WELL that really depends I mean I have been called both but I have been called "fat" like when people you know just want to insult me and call me "fat bitch" etc... and have been called skinny by fat people so I never count it.
Day Eighteen: Do you have to eat any meals wit your family? Are they for or against your diet?
Oh the wonderful joys of not living at home, but when I am home, I do eat meals with the fam, but not all f it, and that is because they are 100% against extreme dieting
Right I am so drunk and I just woke up this is not ok......
I am going to the gym at 11
going to sit in the sauna for an hour... ok thats an exaggeration
but I am going to sweat the drunk out
it works for me
seriously
and OMFG I drank so much last night
I have no idea how I remember everything but I do
and I made out with a really good looking babealicious babe
like WOW
haha
so yeah to drunk for life as always
xoxox
love you guys
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