away for a week

well it looks like my tickets to my holiday destination come to some sort of good use
My grandad is really sick, his kidneys are starting to fail
so I am going to visit him for a week and a half and see other family
so I proberbly wont be on until the 3rd of feb at the earliest
I will miss you all

Also I want to thank all you lovely girls and your support, sometimes I wish I personally knew you all
xoxox

ttyl
ciao bellas

Attacked from all sides part 2 in the story of my fucked up life

N - Drama Queen, Queen bitch face

D - Two faced slut

K - Attention Whore

B - Stupid Skank

Fuck how could a bunch of girls be so mean?

WAIT . . . 

Girls are always mean!!!! 

Just put them in the right situation and BAM!!!!
I don't think I have EVER cried so hard about some fucking stupid girls. About "friends"

OMG they all just follow the fucking heard, they are like sheep.

D and B aren't even like apart of this and have no rights to be angry at me. They just sided with the first person.

Now apparently none of them want to go on the holiday I planned at my grandparents Bach

I just want to go with H and just chill. Or use the flights and go to Auckland and see people I actually love and love me back.

I just want to be skinny

I just want to crawl into a ball and cry and cry and cry until I fade into nothing.

Simple enough really

I really do wish it was

x  x  x

Attacked from all sides

My so called "friends" attacked me
THEY FREAKING ATTACKED ME
Not like physically, but mentally. They text me to meet up for coffee and then they attacked me saying that all the problems we officially because of me.
I am in a really bad funk

FML

sigh

This past week has not been good.

I have realized that I have no real friends

As much as I want to have them and as much as I try I just don't

N is in a shitty at me for no reason, just over a drunken fight from Saturday night, when they decided to go to town when I didn't want to go to town and I was waiting for S to pick me up from the 18th we were at, and she was dead set on leaving and not waiting 20minutes for him to arrive, she was to interested in town then waiting for me to safely get home (I knew no one at the party because it was D's ex boyfriends 18th and we came with her to support her etc... so them leaving me by myself is quite scary.) She text me on Sunday saying she wasn't coming on the holiday she had already payed for, because I jokingly slapped her lightly earlier in the night because she kept changing the plans and I told her to make up her mind, then apologized for slapping her, also apparentness I treat her very demandingly. Sigh. And when I apologize she doesn't even text back.

D is more interested in staying on everyones team, where, she back-stabs to the day, and makes up stories, and she is more interested in keeping the boys who are interested in her, interested in her.

AND these are the two girls I call my best friends?!

H is lovely, and we aren't best friends either although she is the most supportive friend at the moment, however, she hangs out with another set of friends.

S(the friend) she isn't as close with me but is super lovely, but is more friends with N and can be easily influenced which isn't fair because she always sides with the person she knows the most.

B well B likes to not listen to us. WE all hate her boyfriend, every single one of us and yet she would rather listen to him and run around crazy, and jump when he says jump and not see the fact that he is most likely cheating.

My crazy stoner friend A is awesome, but I hardly see her anymore since she got a boyfriend,

And C hahahahahaha she pisses me of to the day. BUT sometimes she can be lovely

Like I said no real friends. They all do different things, and all have different morals and can't be supportive (except for H) sigh. sometimes I think Ana is my only friend. Although when I think I am becoming close to people, I seem to push her to the back of my mind leaving her there until I come crawling back all battered and bruised from the emotional roller-coaster of the friendships I form, and she is there waiting patiently saying I told you so and forces me to run on the treadmill, and I smile up at her and thank her for being there for me and there to understand me. No one seems to understand me, except her. Too bad she isn't a real person, I mean if she was I wouldn't need anyone else, she would always be around and always be my excuse. 

And at the moment I have one week to lose 5 more lbs. I can do it. I hear all these wonderful miracles on these blogs I read about how some of you lovelies lost 10lbs in a week, or 3kgs, or 1stone. I am going to be lovely. And so I shall.

Ciao Bellas

you wonderful girls

Week Off

I disappeard.
I mean nothing went wrong I have been too busy for anything
I have lost 5lbs in the past week form stress and not eating
I am now 139.7lbs :)
I promise to do a big post tomorrow :)

xx
ciao bellas

Early

Seriously??? I migraine? WHY BODY WHY?!!! Oh is it coz I have been eating.... I get it now, ok I shall fast for you now.
Ok I Seriously need someone to fast with me or else I don't seem to stick with one because I fail at life seriously
So can anyone fast with me???

But anyway my life has been boring because pretty much I have been working 24/7. However on wednesday, because I wasn't at work I got to clean my room all day, and do nothing :)
then on thursday I got my belly button pierced it is super awesome and lets just say S loves it and exspesh since me D, and B went shopping for some playboy underwear which was fun and awesome. I brought a black satin and red sequined bra and underwear set they are quite sexy actually. Yes sir. We all had some sushi which was all I ate that day and we then brought them all alcohol when N joined us to go to a bbq and another place for drinks. I left the girls at the drinks while I found S and kissed him for the first time in 10days, OMG I MISSED HIM!

ON Friday was the worst thing ever. Me and S got woken up at 7:30 with a phone call from N telling me that D had to be taken to hospital. Pretty much D had a sharp pain in her stomach which freaked her out and she then started to have a panic attack, which then led to her breathing to go funny, which made her panic more, which made her hyperventilate, which led to her panicking more and passing out at 4am that morning. I practically ran to the hospital where she was quite drugged up, and probably still drunk. I then sat with her and N until 9, when N left to go home and sleep, and S and I sat with her until she was discharged, which meant I had nothing to eat until N, and B came round to mine to have KFC for lunch at 4:50pm :(  but D is fine now thank god

yesterday I went out with friends to drinks etc nothing really happened except that B found yet another guy to spade, C got super drunk and I made out with S until I had to be home

4 More days

yes thats right I have four more days until S returns from his holiday and that means I have four days to drop this horrible 3.6lbs that like to sit on my bones and never budge..... and I know from the past if I drop past 140 I can loose 8lbs more easily!!! I am currently 143.6lbs and have been for a week now and it wont go away. I think it is because I constantly find reasons to eat, and also that my friends are a little suspect!! I hoping for a small loss tomorrow if I dont eat dinner tonight.

Omg my mother is suuuuuch a bitch!!! Ok I get the reason she is having a spazz at me is partly my fault, but she just doesnt shut the fuck up ever!!!! She is having the most massivist go at me for not cleaning my room!! GOD I can't help it if I have been at work everyday since christmas and dont have the time to clean it. I said I would do it but today is my first day off in 10days and I just want to relax and read blogs. I dont want to clean or eat but she is making me do both. I just want to lie in bed and read but no I cant even do that.

Oh yeah I know my blogs are slacking a bit but it is because of work. I hate work. I always eat there, except for yesterday I had nothing at work, mostly to do with me leaving my wallet at home which is what I will be doing from now on because it means I will have between 3-10hours of no food and sometimes missing out on all the important meals and if not on those I miss out on dinner with the horrible family

Now I must go a clean my room
ciao bellas
xoxox

2011

Not long now until the rest of you join the year 2011

What did you most accomplish in 2010?
and what were you proud of?

Was it a year to be remembered or a year to be forgotten?

love you all and hope you have a fantastic 2011

HAPPY NEW YEARS EVE!!!!!

Hello my lovely girlies!!!!
I feel so bad I havent read any blogs for like a week and a half. I am so going to try catch up after new years. But I just don't have the time. Between work, friends and sleep (and also cleaning out my room for uni) There is like only enough time to post!!! I am sorry but I promise after the New Year starts I shall be much better at keeping track of your blogs xxxx

Well I came on to wish you all a Happy New Year (for when it is for you) because I am most likely going to be quite hungover on new years day :)
I hope yoyu guys have a great time, no matter what you are doing xoxox

Love You All xox

7 days

So nothing really has happened, life has gone on since xmas. I got nothing much. Just a few things cause we had a big family trip to america in July so we weren't expecting much. I got a gold necklace from S though... its gorgeous, and I got a book, and some chocolate (which will remain uneaten). 

I didnt gain any eight over christmas which I am happy about, so I still remain 143.6lbs :( that stupid 3.6lbs wont move or budge, so I think I am going to start a seven day fast, aaand if any of you would like to join feel free because I seem to do better with others than just myself

I Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas

xoxox

Love all of you