Day One

I feel like that is a permanent title for me
I'm not going to lie
I promise you
So here goes...

Day One:

Weight: 172.8 lb

Intake:

Breakfast: 1/2 Cup Pineapple 41

Lunch: 2.5 Cups Skinny Pop 250

2 cups Cocoa Rice Krispies 320

Dinner: 2 Starbucks Vanilla can drink things 420

Total: 1031

Exercise:

Sit ups: 1200 /1000

Walk: 20 /30 minutes

ciao bellas xoxox

End of the week... A new try tomorrow

I have always been shitty at starting and maintaining diets, and fasts...
Basically
I suuuuuuck!
I start one diet, then give up then again and again and again. It has been a repeating pattern, I start, I loose a tiny bit, I fail, I gain a whole lot. Forward one step, back two.

Goals for this week:

1. Walk once a day for 30 minutes
2. No carbs, no dairy, no meat
3. 8 glasses of Water
4. Green Tea
5. 1000 Crunches

Reward: Manicure

This weekend has been pretty good to me. My au pair friend and I met a few Afrikaans boys at carnival, and we are slowly becoming friends with them one by one. So two of them joined us at a bar last night where we drank and danced, then moved to a park and continued drinking while running around the wooden playground getting bark stuck in our shoes. I'm starting to miss the attention of boys... these guys who we hung out with are just our friends, and they have girlfriends. I haven't received the attention that makes my stomach flip. Is that wrong to want that?

There is a guy back home in NZ who asked me on a date while drunk... for when I come back. He said he would ask me again when he was sober. He hasn't. 

I'm all confuddled 

p.s. don't hate me, I had pancakes for lunch and a cheese burger for dinner

ciao bellas xxx

I'm Baaaaaack!

I left you all, then started a new blog, then failed at that, gain a bunch of hideous weight
So... let me start again oh hell I keep doing it

Hey! I'm C! 

This is my haven. A place for me to vent and hopefully meet some more lovely girls who would like to talk, and maybe help each other along the way! ;) 
I have had this blog since 2010 (almost 5 years now) and I started my old one in 2012... but I feel like that I needed a clean slate. But my old one never saw me post, and at least here I have the motivation of my past, and how skinny I used to be etc... etc... So here I am! Some of you already know who I am, but I may have been forgotten, but still.... here goes!

I am 21 years old (almost 22), I am 5'10 (178 cm) and I currently weigh and it pains me to say 170.6 lbs. I am about 35 lbs over my lowest and about 40 lbs over my UGW. But to make things a little happier, in the past month I have lost 8.8 lbs 

• My Thinspo's are Cara Delevingne, Barbara Palvin, Megan Fox, Abbey Lee Kershaw... and other skinny pretty models that I am too tired to think of their names ;) thin and beautiful
• I don't exercise much but I am going to try and change that 
• Today I have been fasting :) and haven't let a single morsel of food pass my lips

What happened in my 2 year hiatus... well I got drunk a lot, ate a lot of pizza, rekindled my friendship with H, and D... however all the rest of the people I talked about are non-existent in my life except for T and Gee
Um what else happened, I don't know if I ever mentioned JK but we met in Jan 2011 at her birthday party, which I crashed and then again in November 2011 and we basically hung out everyday, and went out drinking like all the time, and ate pizza all the time, and then she moved to America in August 2012, and then a year later I followed suit to be a nanny for a year. but between August 2012, and Feb 2013, nothing really happened my weight stayed at 74 kg, and then when I moved into a new flat in Feb 2013, my weight went up, I had two iPhones stolen, dated a couple of guys, had flat dramas, and crashed my work car, all in the span of 5 months. Then in July 2013 I moved home for a month before heading off to America. I had my 21st, made out with a couple of guy friends stupid stupid stupid I know, got drunk, worked and hung out with my family and friends
Then suddenly I was in America! and I love it here. I hate the job, and the fact the majority of food is over processed. I do love it. Oh and the winter SUUUUUUCKED! Plus I never lost or gained weight until now. Also I dated this guy for like 4 months, and then he broke up with me because I was going home in a few months, then he started dating my "friend" a week later but she is leaving the month after me... It just makes me angry, so I lost a lot of friends but that's ok because I found out who my real friends are, and I am a lot happier, because there was a month were I basically ate like non-stop.

I don't know if I'm boring you yet haha but here I am. I'm back! and I hope to be back to where I used to be :) 

So here are my current stats and goals

Age: 21

Height: 5'10

CW: 170.6 lb (77.4 kg)

GW1: 160 (72.6)

GW2: 150 (68)

GW3: 145 (65.8)

GW4: 140 (63.5)

GW5: 135 (61.2)

UGW: 130 (59)

HW: 180.8 (82)

LW: 132 (59.9)

Ciao Bella's xxx

I'M LEAVING

farewell blogging world x

You can sleep when your dead

Assignments due..... Haven't slept in two days ;) this is not healthy!

jack fell down, and broke his crown, and jill came tumbling after

short post before I go to bed....
I finally have internet
and my weight is not an issue that I would like to discuss right this moment
x

I'm on a boat mother fucker

Just spent thd weekend at home, just drove for 4.5 hours and now get to spend 3 on a ferry then another more hour drive up to my flat... Oh life is so fab right now.... Oh wait there is more. The fucking internet company STILL HASNT CONNECTED OUR FUCKING INTERNET.... so I am talking g to you via my phone, but alas I don't even know if this will work.... And as i seem tp promise you everytime.... A proper post next time... Promise xx

confetti for me

Ugh no, no confetti for meeeeee.... :(
That is really upsetting actuallty :(
Day 4 of the LDD..... I almost passed out at work... sooooo I had 3 cherry tomatoes, some fetta, lettuce, 12 baby mushrooms, aaaand an egg
Not a complete failure
but enough about that
I have done nothing today but obsess about food.... it is a complete obsession that I cannot stop
AHHHHHHHHHH

ciao bellas
xx

I think you're freaky, and I like it a lot

Ok.......................................... so life...... yeah

Gosh that is an exciting first line to this entry.... Sometimes, lines like these make me think I am a genius with these mother fucking words.... Sometimes I even think I could be smart.... haahahahahhaa. But truly if I was smart, would I be putting myself through this? Probably not! But oh well, I don't need to be smart, I am just aiming to be skinny ;)

Ok so at the moment I am between houses... correction, between flats. Between lives. Between me. Between fat and skinny. Between where my life starts and ends. Me and T have found a flat to live in (hopefully), it is supes cutes!!! We love it and the rooms are relatively big. Well big enough to fit me, and my new Queen sized bed ;)....... anyway so the house (flat) I am staying at right now, ugh, it's T's fuck buddies house. So I am awkwardly just staying here... because I am kinda being kicked out soon, so that just makes it really awks... but lets pray that they wont until I move into the supes cute potent flat......... Everyone seems to be going off to bed/home/town... there is someone's birthday party going on riiiiight now so I am chilling in the space/room I have been given temporarily while some loud loud musicness and talkingness....

AHHHHH piece and quiet..... kinda
they are all off to buy kebabs.... yummmm.... craving
But day 3 is almost over.... 30 more minutes and I think this is the best fast I have done EVER! like no shit... there are times on here when I have said I have fasted, but I normally fail..... BUT NOT TODAY! I have lasted 3days and have 7 more to go :) I am supes happy :)
right off to sleep shall talk tomorrow xoxox
ciao bellas
kiss kiss

Day 7147 of my life

To think that I am only a mere 7147 days old.... now you know my birthday, and age if you can figure it out

Just doing the LDD (lemon detox diet)
Just starting day 3 now at 1:25am here
I am craving like OMG!!!
I want fries
I want a bacon, tomato and cheese toastie
I want pizza
I want a BBQ rodeo burger from BK
I want a ham salad croissant
I want an egg curried sandwich
I want a huge pile of chocolate from my non-existing valentine :(
I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want
BUT I AM NOT THAT HUNGRY!!!!
yes my tummy rumbles, but alas, I know I can still survive without food..... but it is the fact that I am denying myself the pleasure of eating, that my cravings have gotten worse.... it is probably worse also because I work at a mother fucking supermarket, with all that yummy food!!! I have already planned my first meal................................................................................ ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm WTF I have until next Thursday, and I have already planned it?!!!
well I am going to have some Leek and Potato soup, since I wont be able to eat solids for like another 4 days after, but gaaaaahhhhh I honestly miss the one of the things I hate/love doing... Eating. I hate eating.... no scratch that, I hate putting on weight....... :( ...... I am 75.9kgs at the moment a BMI of 23.8.... its disgusting... I want to die not really, but you know what I mean) I am sloooooowly heading towards the mother fucking over weight section....... I CAN'T DO THAT!

ok imma go sleep and dies now
xx
ciao bellas
will be back here tomorrow though xx