I'm Baaaaaack!

I left you all, then started a new blog, then failed at that, gain a bunch of hideous weight
So... let me start again oh hell I keep doing it

Hey! I'm C! 

This is my haven. A place for me to vent and hopefully meet some more lovely girls who would like to talk, and maybe help each other along the way! ;) 
I have had this blog since 2010 (almost 5 years now) and I started my old one in 2012... but I feel like that I needed a clean slate. But my old one never saw me post, and at least here I have the motivation of my past, and how skinny I used to be etc... etc... So here I am! Some of you already know who I am, but I may have been forgotten, but still.... here goes!

I am 21 years old (almost 22), I am 5'10 (178 cm) and I currently weigh and it pains me to say 170.6 lbs. I am about 35 lbs over my lowest and about 40 lbs over my UGW. But to make things a little happier, in the past month I have lost 8.8 lbs 

• My Thinspo's are Cara Delevingne, Barbara Palvin, Megan Fox, Abbey Lee Kershaw... and other skinny pretty models that I am too tired to think of their names ;) thin and beautiful
• I don't exercise much but I am going to try and change that 
• Today I have been fasting :) and haven't let a single morsel of food pass my lips

What happened in my 2 year hiatus... well I got drunk a lot, ate a lot of pizza, rekindled my friendship with H, and D... however all the rest of the people I talked about are non-existent in my life except for T and Gee
Um what else happened, I don't know if I ever mentioned JK but we met in Jan 2011 at her birthday party, which I crashed and then again in November 2011 and we basically hung out everyday, and went out drinking like all the time, and ate pizza all the time, and then she moved to America in August 2012, and then a year later I followed suit to be a nanny for a year. but between August 2012, and Feb 2013, nothing really happened my weight stayed at 74 kg, and then when I moved into a new flat in Feb 2013, my weight went up, I had two iPhones stolen, dated a couple of guys, had flat dramas, and crashed my work car, all in the span of 5 months. Then in July 2013 I moved home for a month before heading off to America. I had my 21st, made out with a couple of guy friends stupid stupid stupid I know, got drunk, worked and hung out with my family and friends
Then suddenly I was in America! and I love it here. I hate the job, and the fact the majority of food is over processed. I do love it. Oh and the winter SUUUUUUCKED! Plus I never lost or gained weight until now. Also I dated this guy for like 4 months, and then he broke up with me because I was going home in a few months, then he started dating my "friend" a week later but she is leaving the month after me... It just makes me angry, so I lost a lot of friends but that's ok because I found out who my real friends are, and I am a lot happier, because there was a month were I basically ate like non-stop.

I don't know if I'm boring you yet haha but here I am. I'm back! and I hope to be back to where I used to be :) 

So here are my current stats and goals

Age: 21

Height: 5'10

CW: 170.6 lb (77.4 kg)

GW1: 160 (72.6)

GW2: 150 (68)

GW3: 145 (65.8)

GW4: 140 (63.5)

GW5: 135 (61.2)

UGW: 130 (59)

HW: 180.8 (82)

LW: 132 (59.9)

Ciao Bella's xxx

I'M LEAVING

farewell blogging world x

You can sleep when your dead

Assignments due..... Haven't slept in two days ;) this is not healthy!

jack fell down, and broke his crown, and jill came tumbling after

short post before I go to bed....
I finally have internet
and my weight is not an issue that I would like to discuss right this moment
x

I'm on a boat mother fucker

Just spent thd weekend at home, just drove for 4.5 hours and now get to spend 3 on a ferry then another more hour drive up to my flat... Oh life is so fab right now.... Oh wait there is more. The fucking internet company STILL HASNT CONNECTED OUR FUCKING INTERNET.... so I am talking g to you via my phone, but alas I don't even know if this will work.... And as i seem tp promise you everytime.... A proper post next time... Promise xx

confetti for me

Ugh no, no confetti for meeeeee.... :(
That is really upsetting actuallty :(
Day 4 of the LDD..... I almost passed out at work... sooooo I had 3 cherry tomatoes, some fetta, lettuce, 12 baby mushrooms, aaaand an egg
Not a complete failure
but enough about that
I have done nothing today but obsess about food.... it is a complete obsession that I cannot stop
AHHHHHHHHHH

ciao bellas
xx

I think you're freaky, and I like it a lot

Ok.......................................... so life...... yeah

Gosh that is an exciting first line to this entry.... Sometimes, lines like these make me think I am a genius with these mother fucking words.... Sometimes I even think I could be smart.... haahahahahhaa. But truly if I was smart, would I be putting myself through this? Probably not! But oh well, I don't need to be smart, I am just aiming to be skinny ;)

Ok so at the moment I am between houses... correction, between flats. Between lives. Between me. Between fat and skinny. Between where my life starts and ends. Me and T have found a flat to live in (hopefully), it is supes cutes!!! We love it and the rooms are relatively big. Well big enough to fit me, and my new Queen sized bed ;)....... anyway so the house (flat) I am staying at right now, ugh, it's T's fuck buddies house. So I am awkwardly just staying here... because I am kinda being kicked out soon, so that just makes it really awks... but lets pray that they wont until I move into the supes cute potent flat......... Everyone seems to be going off to bed/home/town... there is someone's birthday party going on riiiiight now so I am chilling in the space/room I have been given temporarily while some loud loud musicness and talkingness....

AHHHHH piece and quiet..... kinda
they are all off to buy kebabs.... yummmm.... craving
But day 3 is almost over.... 30 more minutes and I think this is the best fast I have done EVER! like no shit... there are times on here when I have said I have fasted, but I normally fail..... BUT NOT TODAY! I have lasted 3days and have 7 more to go :) I am supes happy :)
right off to sleep shall talk tomorrow xoxox
ciao bellas
kiss kiss

Day 7147 of my life

To think that I am only a mere 7147 days old.... now you know my birthday, and age if you can figure it out

Just doing the LDD (lemon detox diet)
Just starting day 3 now at 1:25am here
I am craving like OMG!!!
I want fries
I want a bacon, tomato and cheese toastie
I want pizza
I want a BBQ rodeo burger from BK
I want a ham salad croissant
I want an egg curried sandwich
I want a huge pile of chocolate from my non-existing valentine :(
I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want I want
BUT I AM NOT THAT HUNGRY!!!!
yes my tummy rumbles, but alas, I know I can still survive without food..... but it is the fact that I am denying myself the pleasure of eating, that my cravings have gotten worse.... it is probably worse also because I work at a mother fucking supermarket, with all that yummy food!!! I have already planned my first meal................................................................................ ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm WTF I have until next Thursday, and I have already planned it?!!!
well I am going to have some Leek and Potato soup, since I wont be able to eat solids for like another 4 days after, but gaaaaahhhhh I honestly miss the one of the things I hate/love doing... Eating. I hate eating.... no scratch that, I hate putting on weight....... :( ...... I am 75.9kgs at the moment a BMI of 23.8.... its disgusting... I want to die not really, but you know what I mean) I am sloooooowly heading towards the mother fucking over weight section....... I CAN'T DO THAT!

ok imma go sleep and dies now
xx
ciao bellas
will be back here tomorrow though xx

I'm Back

Ok so for a while I have been MIA.... and I hope it doesn't happen again.... maybe, well I wouldn't know.... did you guys even notice haha. Well anyways I have been still here just not writing.... I mean what is the point? My weight has gone up AGAIN! I AM NOW AT AN ALL TIME HIGH! 163.4lbs (74.1kgs) UGH! disgusting.... all I do is eat, sleep, gym, then eat some more. I am useless. hahahahahhahahahha O how I haven't changed one bit.
So whats been happening in my life? Nothing....
I got drunk last weekend and plan to do so this weekend
I am moving temporarily to my friends flat, whilst I try to find myself a flat with T....  wooo
I went on a date tonight, first one since the ex *sigh* (still fucking wont stop thinking about him....stupid brain! But anyways the date sucked. well it wasn't all bad... first we had dinner..... and his ex gf happened to be at the restaurant..... um AWKS! he got up and talked to her, leaving me looking like a dick sitting there picking at my salad, then when they finally stopped talking, we talked.... ok so I like rich boys/guys/men (who doesn't) and he is lovely, but there is one thing I hate is when they think they are better than everyone and brag about it..... so he kept going on about travelling and blah blah rich talk! and I am just sitting there like "fuck" "nice" "jealous" the entire time! I felt so insecure about my family life, but I don't normally, because I am not poor, or you know, my family is just ordinary(ish) you know what I mean.... it's just the way he came across, so fucking arrogant.... and he had to pay for EVERYTHING! he wouldn't even let me buy the pop corn for the movie after......... I love being independent with my money you know, I want to be able to show guys that I can you know be fine with out some fucking man to be there to hold me up...... that's like the one of the things that just pisses me off! GAHKjghskadjhfkl;ashifulgsekjhaseduiyegfia;weyguiakjedfbvnio[egbjnmc9uegbg *sigh!* I just asdklhfakldjfkjhbg nahhakldfhjgk sorry haha, I liked him I did but the way he thought he was slightly better than  some people, and the comments he made about somethings ghakjfhdksdjfh
Buuuuuut anyways have aaaaaaaaaaaanother date tomorrow... I know whaaaadda slut (loljks) hopefully this one is more interesting :S

So thats pretty much the most exciting thing that has happened because my life is sooooooooo interesting :D CHEA!

Right I have to go to sleep now xox

2012!!!!!!

Put your glowstick bracelets in the freezer for next year, pat yourself on the back and wish yourself a very awesome new years no matter how cold, windy or flooded you were I hope you had an awesome time xx 2012 HERE WE COME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!