heartbroken

Ok so S and I have had a weird kind of relationship for the past 5 months while I have been away for University.
We are still together, something between Friends with Benifits and a long distance relationship
Its like, if someone were to ask either one of us out its ok as long as you just tell the other, and if you were to make out with some random at a party thats ok too. However if we had a no go zone...... anything under the clothes was off limits, but if something were to happen (like you fell for another and were planning to do stuff in the said no go zone) to tell the other so we could discuss what our relationship was doing and if we were to end it completely.
So anyways I was on the phone to H my flatmate on Wednesday afternoon, and atm she is in the same city as S, and she asked me about the party S went to on Saturday.... H would have gone but she was sick but her friends were there and this was how she passed the info on to me... But S slept with someone... He was drunk. I still dont like it. Petty. Whatever I don't care. So I confronted him when he called that night and I asked him how saturday night was, he said he got pretty drunk, why am I asking... then I was like why do you think... and he was like I dont know... so I told him if there was anything he wanted to tell me? and he was like no. So I said again if there was anything he wanted to tell me, to just tell me now before I find out from someone else. And he said, that I was asking a really weird unusual question and he had no idea what I was on about. So I told him I heard a rumour, and if I found out it was true from someone else I would be really angry and upset. [which I would be anyways but whatever] and he said C is this about a girl? and I replied, I dont know S you tell me. Thats when he spilled...... He said it didnt mean anything, and that it was a mistake, and he was going to tell me in person. Then I was like, it means something to me, yeah you fucked up, and you were going to tell me in the middle of July when I came to visit? and that someone could tell me in that time.... oh wait they did. and he was like no I didnt want you to find out that way, I am coming up on Friday to visit you I have had this planned for a while. then I asked him if he had else where to stay, he said no, I told him he can sleep on the couch, because I dont want to be to near him.
But yes sir he is coming up today @ 4... unless the flights are cancelled due to the ash cloud... which I am hoping for.
I am ending it with him
I don't think I can look at him the same any more
Yeah we had the arrangement
But really it just was a test for him, to see how much he actually loved me
He may still but its not working anymore
*sigh*

wish me luck for when he arrives
xx
ciao bellas

My sleepong pattern is quite messy... I mean I mostly have work from 4-10/11pm and I will come home and blob out for a good hour or so then I will jump into bed and sleep until my fist alarm will attempt to wake me at 8:30 and of course I will continue to snooze it every 10minutes, until iy turns itself off. Then at 9:30 I repeat the process.... Somehow convincing myself that I have nothing to do all day until work @ 4... Therefore... I wake up anytime between the hours of 10:30am and 2pm which throws my whole day off. Because now that walk I wanted to do it wont happen, or my room that I was going to clean...... Dont get me started.... Its even worse when I don't have work all day because I stay in bed practically all day on facebook and here... It really is quite bad. But like I have nooooo morivaton to get out of bed unless I have to get ready for work.

Anyways... I got a new phone... Its an android one soooo its even harder to get out of bed because all I do is lie in bed figuring out my new phone, like as we speak I am typing out this post on it. I really do need some more MOTIVATION!!!!!!!

XX

29days

my internet has some sick intentions!

• It wont load half of the posts I want to read.
• It wont show the pictures on the posts
• If I am lucky enough to read the entire post.... well it wont let me post a comments (unless I am super lucky!!!!)

Well that is what happens when your internet is on dial up speed.... fml

we ran out of internet yesterday morning

I hate DIAL UP FUCKING SPEED!!!! 

it makes me want to pull my hair out and scream

its sooooo slow!

ok so I have been dieting for the past 2days (even though yesterday was a 1/2 fail)

and I weigh 155.6lbs

woooooo!

as soon as I am down to 154 and keep going down I can buy myself a nice shiny bottle of OPI! yay!!!!

atm nail polish is my thing to get... but not just any nail polish.... OPI polish!!! Its sooo nice

and their colours are all sooo OOOOOOOO ^_^ yay

and not only will I be getting a nice new SHINY bottle of OPI it means I am one small step closer to my UGW! yessiry that is correct

Nee: Like I said if you want to email me I am happy to be a buddy with you for the one month challenge...

Actually if any of you wonderful girls want to my email is purple_chick_undercover@hotmail.com

~christy~: de yay! 19 is going to be interesting... I think. Because its an age that is slightly weird its not as awesome as 18 (because in NZ you are allowed to drink and go to bars etc...) and its younger than 20.... which is an age I can't believe I will be turning next year.

Its actually to believed according to my room-mates(including miggins the one that likes to go at it like a bunny [p.s thanks for the comments on that one :D they made me smile) that I am going through my mid-life crisis now. As crazy as that sounds... I do somewhat believe it.

Because as much as 20 will be awesome it sounds like its going to be that age that puts me out of the TEEN bracket and into an inbeetween bracket of not a teen and not quite cool enough to be 21 *sigh*

and also it will make me that much older than my brothers where the oldest will be 16 when I am 20 and the youngest 12 (and the one that lives with my dad in another country... some age younger than 8....or maybe older..... -_- fail). Also being 20 makes me that much closer to the 30's and the expectations that come with that.

*sigh*

right I have got to go have work in an hour :/ [I am just thinking of the money... thats all I am thinking about]

ciao bellas

xx

p.s promise tomorrow when we have internet some commenting on ye blogs

One Month

yes thats right 1 month... 30 days until I am the wonderful age of 19
now what does that mean?
I have one month to loose 20lbs and make it to 140
yes be disgusted
I am

I am going to be doing it a semi healthy way
Semi
not fully
I am having a "normal breakfast"  today oatmeal and 1/2 grapefruit
and a "normal lunch" 1 small can tuna, cucumber, 1 mandarin and 1/2 grapefruit
and I am not allowed to eat after 4pm
yes sir

I want to be thin for my birthday
I never am
so here goes.....

I am going to set goals and rewards
its really something I need to do
155lbs = 1 new nail polish by OPI
150bs = New Shoes
145lbs = New Book
140lbs = Tattoo
135lbs = Massage
130lbs = OPI nail polish order
125lbs = ASOS order upto $200

I am unmotivated otherwise
because I am lazy

Right I must bee off
I have to clean my room and I have work at 12:30...... yay?

ciao bellas
xox

Hungover

it sucks
I have work too
damnit

Ok seriously my flatmate and her boyfriend are like fucking silent bunny rabbits!!!!!
I can hear the bed moving and the bed banging against the wall
they may think I am asleep but seriously
now all I can think about is how its the
fourth time since 4am this morning
kill me now

HOLD UP!!!!! No longer silent!!! FML I hate having a bed right next to the wall of the sexually active
Don't you hate it when people ie; parents, doctors... etc ask if you are sexually active.
what does it even mean?!!!!

Right I must get up now out of bed. I am going shopping
Mostlikely to by the Sims3

Ciao Bellas
xx

Goals

they haven't started yet because I have beeeeeeen meeeega lazy.... I sleep until noon, then go to work at 4....
My overdraft still hangs over me
I definitely do not weigh any less
Don't know a word of French or how to knit
Scrap-booking hasn't started yet.... Lee's Present has tho
I haven't bought my business book for next semester
and my room...... well you don't even want to know about my room..........

well anywho
my tummy is grumbling like an old man who missed his bus because today is a liquid fast
so far I have had a glass of milk
a glass of grapefruit juice
and a glass of this  fruit and spirilina smoothie thing

so yes
hopefully I will no longer be in the hideous 150 mark....... which I went back up to after my granddad died and all the stress eating from my assignments
Whats worse about my stress eating is that I usually only get stressed from 5pm onwards and thats when I will binge on anything with carbs.... fml.... FAT..... fml or high fast sugars like chocolate
and normally I buy this stuff when I am at work.... well after work
but be proud yesterday after work I walked away...
bought nothing but two sugar free V's :)
even though I could have thought of thousands of things to buy and stuff into my mouth.

Also with the situation about the body issues talk.... she doesn't remember a thing!!! LIKE NO JOKE! not a thing! its great! She doesn't remember from the end of the drinking games until she woke up the next day in bed its fantastic for me... because I got it off my chest and she just was drunken spilling and probs deep down got it off hers too.

I have missed you all and I am reading your blogs as we speak.... speak? read? write? IDK! but what I do know is that I want the new episode of PLL [pretty little liars] to hurry up and be put on the web so I can watch it.

XX
love you all
xoxox

Mistakes

I laughed when I woke up this morning when I read my drunken post from last night. I am glad that is the extent of what I wrote... quite glad.
So last night was my first night of freedom from the shackles of Uni. The first night to get wasted.... 3 beers, half a bottle of wine, and some vodka later I was at someone's flat from work and she got really drunk and started crying about body issues.... then we went in her room and she talked about it.... and I may or may not have told her about mine, I was quite drunk. Then me and my flatmate granny got high and went to town.... and I made out with a hot Argentinian boy from my work and got myself all angry about that even though the situation with S lets me do that sort of thing, I still felt rather guilty because I suck.... well then my flat mate got hit in the face with all the tequila she drank at home and started vomiting in the BK toilets and yep that was my night because then I took her home in a taxi and made her get into bed and sleep..... I don't doubt that she will have an epic hangover. My hangover is a mild annoying dull headache but considering what I drank it could get worse.
But yes for my first night of freedom it was great. I may do it tonight but I am doubting that because I dont need the calories really.

So now I am off to clean the flat and my room I should be back  to read your lovely blogs which I have missed soon
xx
ciao bellas

Lions and tigers and bears..... Oh my!!!

Oh my wonderful follewers how i have missed you  but I promise for the next 4 weeks to be loyal I promis

ex oh ex oh
ciao bellas

MotherF***ing assignments

sorry girlies no time to chat
but sorry havent been on
been megatron busy with assignments
be on in 2 days when holidays start
xx

p.s. will catch up on blogs soon promise xx
p.p.s this is my goals that is above my bed :D