snoooow!!!

while I sit in my apartment/flat it is snowing outside. it never snows here. EVER. Well it may have stopped for now... But I refuse to leave my warm bed to venture out into the lounge where the window that looks out over the city will show me the weather. I do have a window in my room, but I don't want to move and opening my "curtain" will consist of effort because I will just have to close it after which will take more effort. and as we all have found out I am LAZY!!!!

anyways

got drunk on friday and stayed up until 6:30am before crashing into my bed to sleep sober for 6hours. But the Lawyer came round to say hi... he arrived at 4am and I had to kick him out at 6:30..... he may be good looking but he is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BORING! and he didn't get any hints from me or my friends to GTFO of my friends flat where we were drinking. So pretty much we were like you have to leave we want to fucking go to sleep. UGH

Boys are idiots and clueless. I am so over them at the moment!!!!

anyways on saturday I got drunk with my work friends..... the thing is when I say drunk I don't mean like my old drunkness. its more tipsy, like a little silly and a lot more confident. But yeah got rather tipsy ate a whole lot of guacamole and corn chips, and had some PURE platinum passionfruit and vodka drink mixed with some apple sours, so about 6ish standard drinks over 3 hours, I was a bit silly. And that boy from work... fully made out with this chick who has like this serious boyfriend on the roof of where we were. I was like dude your such a man slut. and she is a slut to. SLUZZAS! haha

well I am off to go and check out the light fluffy snow and see if it still snowing and to fill up my water bottle

ciao beauties 

xx

I have to keep reminding myself

I can't live with my flatmates......
I can't
I am on rubbish this week... meaning I take the rubbish down stairs and clean the bin.... that is all
Pikachu was on it last week.... she didn't clean the bin
gross
and this week I had a very! important essay due
did any of my flatmates (apart from T who wasn't there) think to change the rubbish bag? No... because I am on rubbish... although I clearly remember that when someone else would be on rubbish I would change the rubbish bag.
Fuck!
aaaaand when I voiced this miggins said that it was my job and I said I have been busy she said everyone is busy and I was like I had an essay due and she said we all have stuff due and I am like you didnt have anything due this week!!!!!!!! Fucking Hell!
I cannot deal with this I can't!!!!
I am used to people just doing stuff for others because the other needs help
I just have to keep reminding myself 3more months

Sometimes I have those moments... you know the one where you can't breathe properly and you feel sick.
It is like... a guilty feeling
But the thing is, when I get this feeling it is normally after I do something I regret
So in fact it is not a guilty feeling but one of regret.
I regret lots
And mostly it is after I have been drinking.
After I have made a complete fool of myself. Mainly in front of boys
And I am like why oh why did I drink that much
And I am like I am such a SLUZZA!!!
and not just any kind of sluzza but one that will make out with any guy (almost)
and then runnoft to party and drink some more and then sluzz on another poor innocent boy
Its a disease
I actually have been thinking about this a lot lately... a lot a lot a lot!!!!
I mean I know why I do it
I mean it is simple enough to guess.
I hate myself
I do
and I think sluzzing on boys, and seeing them want me, gives me some sort of self worth whilst I am drunk.
I regret it
I do
I get that sick feeling
I hate it
*sigh*
but I still do it
howeeeevvvvverrrrrr
I have decided from this day on (excluding special occasions) that I will not be drinking alcohol... well not excessively  Not to get drunk. well let me re state this. I, from this day on refuse to get stupidly drunk in anyway  (excluding special occasions) for a year!!! maybe longer... maybe..... no lets say December 31st 2012..... lets aim for there to not drink excessively... one or two ok..... any more and I will be punished.

because I am over regretting the mistakes of my sluzzer self

xxx

"Regina says everyone hates you because you're such a slut"

There is a boy in my bed

.... Again?

yes again

but this time I swear its has no other meaning behind it

well maybe 

but 

idk

I haven't made out with him. He is just a friend. And a friend of my ex. And he sleeps around. Is he good looking? YES! He can speak Spanish - fluently. BABE! but I don't know if I will go there..... yet.... I am a cock blocker - whatever that is.?.?.? I have been called that a few times.... mostly from my ex's friends.... not the one in my bed, but the ass wipe ones who I really would love to punch!!!! But yes the one in my bed walked in on S and that random SKANK! in the middle of the act, but he is more my friend than S' which is GOOOOD! 

I am sorry but this may be a little tmi but you can skip this paragraph if you want to buuuuuuuuuuuut.... I haven't gotten any since April. And atm any boy looks good. But I cannot have just any boy......... I have to see if I am worth the wait to them. This is what makes me a cock blocker.... 

so until then *sigh*

So I have a 700 business essay/question thing due tomorrow.... no wait in less than 24hours.... WOO! I have written 356 words. I can't write essays. I can't read readings. It is just BLECH! But I am getting some sort of test done sometime in the near future.

I am liquid fasting today

I have 3.... no scratch that 2 lift plus cans and a whole lot of cup of soups

its going to be great!!!

I love the bliss feeling of emptyness. 

So anyways I have been reading your blogs, I am just finding it hard to comment on them with all the stress from UNI but I promise (like I always do) but this time I will make time on the 25th August to the 10th september to read and comment since I am not going anywhere

xx

Love Ya'll (whoever reads this)

xx

Hold your breath!!!!

You guys wont believe it buuuuuuut guess what!!?!!!
MY ROOM IS TIDY!!!
Not only is it tidy.... but its organised (apart from my bed being messy - but I am going to bed soon so it doesnt matter toooooo much
But yes guys its FUCKING TIDY!
Dont pass out on me guys!!!
.... and it only took me what 4months to get round to truly cleaning it
it took T taking my laptop and locking it in her room until my room was clean for me to do it
But it took me from 4pm - now 12.32am!!!! YESSSS!
but its clean so now I am off to sleep
Shall update you guys tomorrow xox

p-to-the-you

ok so when I am drunk I cant help but purge...... nautral insitinct,,,,, but I feek guuilty!!!!!

Rinse, Wash, Dry, Put them the f*** away!!!

Ok so my flat mates have some serious issues...
They can't pick up after themselves
The Don't know how to rinse there cups to rid them of coffee, milk, juice etc...
they are fucking useless.
Yes I didnt do the dishes last night so most of the stuff is caked on.... but that stuff would have been caked on last night too
but it doesn't mean they can't fucking rinse their shit under the mother fucking tap!!! I do it (most of the time like 98.4% of the time) so why the fuck can't they!!!!
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
these kind of people just flipping piss me off
actually I cant wait to move the fuck out and the end of the semester and get the hell away from H, Pikachu and Miggins...... they are all useless!!!! They can't cook, they hardly clean and they don't know how to fucking stack dishes or rinse them!!!!
Also its Pikachus week on keeping the kitchen and lounge clean.... is it clean... no. Her job is to clean out the fridge.... I dont even want to go in the fridge it so gross. She has to make sure the table and coffee table are wiped down and the kitchen bench is tidy
Its all fucking messy!!!!
and she leaves all her fucking rubbish around for me or someone else to put away
FUCK!
Yeah my rooms a mess. But thats my room and no one else but me has to live in it!!!!

-end rant

sorry bout this kinda had to get it off my chest
xx

One or the other

Ok so while I working today
This extremely and I mean like EXTREMELY! like OMG! gorgeous girl came into work. she was BEAUTIFUL! and she was SKINNY! and the thing that got my attention the most were her shoes!!
My shoe obsession has gotten a little OTT
shoesofprey.com OMG!
but anyway back on track
I have now decided that I don't need to spend any more money
NONE!
not until I am over $1000 of my over draft so I have at least $1000 and then I am going to go clothes crazy. Also if I don't spend any of my money it mean I will get skinny!!! as much as I want to be healthy.... I want SHOES! and CLOTHES and OPI! and ASOS.com wardrobe!!!! MORE!
its a disease
an addiction
when I go shopping me = O.O
So my decision is final (for now) I am not spending money left right and centre on food. Only the necessities to survive. I WANT SHOES
hahahahahahahahahahahahahhaha
I think I am going insane

LOVE YALL! xox

Yummy scrummy in my Tummy

I just had ze work.... wooooo!
yeah money!!!
I need ze money
I am le broke!
Yeah :(
But I did manage to pick up some frozen blueberries, frozen mixed berries, and some greek yoghurt today for my breakfasts and lunches
YUMMERS!

Well I am totally Zonked
off to bed
ex oh ex

Better

I am doing pretty well since I have dropped out of the flat meals its great.... I am so much happier!!!
Monday:
Breakfast:
1/2 Grapefruit (60)
1/2cup Cheerios (74)
1/4 Calci Trim Milk (31)
total: 165
Lunch:
1/2cup Wholegrain Rice (100)
1/2 Can Lemon Pepper Tuna (74)
total: 174
Dinner:
1/2cup Cabonara (135)
1 Egg (75)
total: 210


Total: 549!
And the thing is I didn't even try!!! I just ate until I didn't want it.
and its been the same for the past few days
I am only eating when hungry
And I didn't eat after 6pm either
If only I had batteries in my scale to watch the progress!

Tuesday:

Breakfast:
1/2 Grapefruit (60)
1/2cup Cheerios (74)
1/4cup Calci Trim Milk (31)
Lipton Citrus Green Tea (95)
total: 260

Lunch
1/2cup Cabonara (135)
1 Egg (75)
Lipton Citrus Green Tea (95)
total: 305
Dinner:
Tomato Soup (30)
Avocado on toast (300)
1/2 Muffin  (125)
total: 455


Total: 1020!!!
How is this even possible!!! I swore I ate like a pig!!!
This is ridiculous!!!!

Today (Wednesday):

Breakfast:

1/2 Grapefruit (60)

1/2cup Cheerios (74)

1/4cup Calci Trim Milk (31)

Lipton Citrus Green Tea (95)

total: 260 

(yeah I know real variety with my breakfasts but when you have no food what can ya do + I love ma honey oat cheerios in the morning YUM!)

Lunch:

1/2 packet Trident Singapore Noodles (165)

1 Egg (75)

100g Wedges (187)

Chicken (127)

total: 554

Dinner:

1/2 ham salad sandwich (125)

100g Chilli and Lime Cashews (290)

total: 415

Total: 1229!

F*** Yes

and none of these are counting the exercise I do from walking to and from uni all day and work today!!! I am a machine today!!! 

Now don't me wrong I am not trying to eat as little as possible

I am trying to slim down the hard way

By eating Healthy and Exercising

I decided my health wasn't worth being thrown around during my battle against my body because I already have so many issues with it. Stupid shitty immune system!

So I am trying to eat roughly between 1000 - 1300 calories a day 

but atm seeing as I have no money I can't exactly go out and buy lots of scrummy yummy foods for me belly I have to eat what I have that I have stashed around the flat

In my lovely shelving system by my bed I have

• 9 bottles of Lipton Citrus Green Tea (YUM!)
• 7 cans sardines
• 1 can creamed rice
• 2 185g cans of tuna
• 1 85g tuna
• 4 different types of cups of soups (tomato, creamy chicken, creamy vegetable, and chicken noodle)
• 1 packet of San Remo single snack chicken and mushroom (flavoured) pasta

In the fridge I have

• left over half of -Trident Noodles packet
• 4 grapefruit
• 4 lemons
• 1/2 a litre of milk

in the pantry

• 1 can of Irish stew from my grandmother yet to be touch and may remain untouched for a very very long time
• 4 cans of baked beans, all different brands, yet another gift from the G-ma
• 1 can of Watties Spaghetti WITH sausages
• 1 can of pineapple pieces
• my honey oat cheerio cereal (YUM!)
• rolled oats! for me porridge
• marmite!
• vegemite!
• honey!
• 1 can of tomatos

Yes sir

That is my food for the rest of the week

and possibly even next week actually

because I am enjoying making up recipes with what I have left over from when I moved in until now!!!

My room is still a mess... no surprise there

Hey did I ever tell you guys about the boy from work? Lets call him E... well preeeeetty much one night when I was out in town just me and T... we got pretty wasted. She made out with 3 guys and I made out with E and  somehow managed to bring him home. you see I am pretty good at bringing guys home and then kicking them out when I want to sleep...... and I know what your thinking.... WHAT A WHORE! no I do not and I repeat DO NOT! sleep with them or do anything of the sort!!!! I have only slept with one person and one person only and that was the ex S. But anyway, somehow in my drunken stupidity I let him sleep in my bed. We had a make out sesh and then went to sleep, where I then made up my mind thaaaaat I infact didn't like him that much because while making out with him he tried to eat my face. but anyways its now reeeeal awks at work. not for him

Only for me

because I am an awkward person

and I can make anything awkward

yeah..........

see I just made this post awkward

yeah you feel that awkward tension!!!
soak that awkward tension up

Love yall

x